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and this would be when my mom left the car keys just sitting there. we walked halfway cross the compound and then she realized it. i sprinted back, still there! lucky!

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nothing like a good twirl. i am terrible at the stripper pole by the way. it’s hard. i had a lesson with carly at flirty girl fitness once. we sucked.

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now this was a performance. we had a great spot on the sidewalk pretty much in the show too.

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needs no caption.

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miss this view.

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honk honk.

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i liked her.

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they were pretty cool too.

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catsuit outfit was a hit.

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it was only flooded in this one part of miami. it was raining a lot, eventually that shit accumulates.

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this pizza was shockingly good.

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a girlfriend of curly got a bit jealous after this was taken. he jumped in there. i tried to reason with her but some chicks are just psycho jealous and threatened. lame.

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we got some good luck out of this.

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love this polish. paddy where is it?

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oh just a few screws loose, not a big deal.

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classy.

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and you think you got ass? you got nothing.

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the short while i rocked the feather headband before trading it in.

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the next afternoon i looked like this.

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creepy driver.

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this strip is a gigantic runway. best people watching place. it just keeps going.

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my hairstyle varied had to side braid it post podium dance.

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yup. you forget you’re only in florida. traveling europeans know what life is all about. butts and beauty.

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my mom is gay for these shoes. i think she thinks she’s roman royalty. she certainly has the feet for ‘em. did i say she bought the same steve madden wedges as me too?

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lois has a buddy holly boner.

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and i have a venti americano misto boner.

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photographing in lieu of strangling. this was a testy evening hahah.

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shoulda took’er for a spin.

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versace’s palace.

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ladies night at blue martini. wednesday. half price martinis. the food is really good too.

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i am down with the drag queens, they know a diva on their team when they see one. didn’t stop her from putting me in my place though when i tried to turn my chair around. love it. i’m a good wing girl.

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you see this toronto? why can’t we be this?

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or that?

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i love those shorts. i want more like them. aa has some nice highwaisters but so expensive. maybe UO is having a sale now or i’ll go ransack the clearance section.

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daycare area consisted of a big sand circle tower built entrapping the tykes.

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this is literally the gayest photo that i have ever seen and you cannot even be offended by that. what is this 1982? i love it.

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kay lois just stand over there let me take your picture ok hang on turning it on and click…holy shit.

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can you spot raymbo?

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mangos is another really fun place.

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before you know it you will be annihilated. easily roped a dude into buying us lots of drinks. lois got mango’d.

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this woman stopped me in the restroom and commented on my dance shoes, asked when i was going up. i blushed. also couldn’t believe my mom was my mom. ex model. gorgeous knows gorgeous.

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no false advertising here.

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they wore AA body suits. tame over here but over there, powerful.

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being tall rules. i’m wearing heels all summer long now.

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it was the chocolate martinis. i love drunk lois.

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it was like dancing with the stars super intense dance moves on the spot.

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then a bit of ho train with live singing.

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it was certainly the night of live entertainment.

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versace’s again.

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i was blushing and screaming like a maniac.

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mj showed up.

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i’m trying to thunder steal by doing nothing. no matter it’s a gay bar (palace bar) anyway but you must go, when the show was over the shirts came off and everyone was just drinking and mingling and dancing. good spot fyi.

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see?

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best vacation ever. i’ll be sad when i finally run out of pictures to blawg.

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this is how you play it cool.

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fabulous.

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that too.

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they were like heavy metal salsa chippendales.

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what are you talking about now woman?

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looks like i’m doing more squats.

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jesus.

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oh hai there.

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our first room at loew’s then we moved on up to 1840.

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this is where my brainchild for flock of seagulls lifeguard dance was born. drunk sun siesta.

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loved this tree. do you know what it is?

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by this point i just gave in to my mom’s bullshit and kept posing no matter what i was wearing lord knows she blasts them all up regardless of what YOU want. meanwhile a tiny balcony of bros were watching.

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i so relate to that guy.

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something was going on behind my mom and i said mom, trust me, this is something you want to see.

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don’t miss the old view anymore i miss this one.

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loved this installation.

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our resort at night. pool open 24 hours. unheard of.

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this was the night i could have seduced steve aoki. should have. mom tired me right out. yes i am blaming you.

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i should have tanned my butt. i’m wearing a thong so relax trolls. fucking sick of you.

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hahahahaa.

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took me awhile to settle on an outfit for dinner. the white shorts won again.

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ok to be continued. off to see my pa!