feelin’ fly on the fourth of july

happy fourth of july from Raymiami from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

drown on your own time.

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i am actually a trained semi-certified lifeguard believe it or not.

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like if someone was drowning in a river or needed rescue and i sat around doing nothing i could be held responsible for not attempting a save. i didn’t complete my bronze cross cos i was too young and they already skipped and bumped me up illegally enough (broad shoulders, killer swimmer, better than my brother even, bet i could still lap him) and the wait time to turn 14 or 15 was too boring and daunting and then i got a boyfriend and started partying. i could have been babewatch. is the pay even worth it? staring at annoying little kids for hours? snore.

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and i have saved a life before using my training except it was on land in a burger joint ahhaa using the heimlich maneuver on a choking epileptic fat dude. i was the only one who sprang to action this skinny little grade ten chick where is my medal? in a situation like that it doesn’t matter your training, it’s who responds or even has the capacity to react. i hesitated at first but barely, the room froze and this poor man was choking and convulsing and i could not handle inaction. i can still hear the crack of his skull hitting the linoleum and his bulging eyes, his useless colleagues with fries hanging out of their mouths. i’m like this in every avenue in life, if someone’s in distress i’ll throw myself on the fire unlike you wimps. i squatted down on the floor behind him after i barked at his friends to get his thick leather coat off cos there was no way i could fit my arms and make an adequate fist with that thing on (who eats a burger in a leather jacket? this guy is probably long dead by now from a heart attack) so they had this ridiculous tug of war which in hindsight was a bad call but again, i panicked and no one fucking else was doing anything so anyway i was squatting and compressing from behind then he barfed all over me. it was quite a scene. paramedics inevitably arrived and i was pushed aside and forgotten, went back to my table of bros and they’e like you ok ren? then i started adrenaline crying and trembling from the whole ordeal. i like how i made that all about me.

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calling for more tea for mom and a lounger for the roof. the sweet glorious roof.

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aerobics with lois in the pool last night was super fun. we had an audience too. today i will run on the beach and hit the gym.

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ok we get the point. outfit pass.