fake to make/retaliate

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ok so where were we. this guy’s pants were my highlight, i said as we left and this last crowd of debbies on the yuppie patio finally had drunk courage to talk to us, they said they thought casie was lady gaga (yes because every platinum girl looks like gaga) which was totally the perfect thing to say. i came over to white pants and spoke through a tropical plant to him about his pants, he loved my outfit bla bla etc said we were in a fashion show around the corner, casie said i was one of the models and they all said we can TELL. so with my newly inflated ego hot air balloon ballet ponytailed head, i floated us on home.

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i look pretty tired. i was. this jacket matches my new vic secret pink lace number. maybe i’ll slip it into the film. my scene shoots in four hours. going to try to show at the vanity party first. we’ll see i have lots of blogging and laundry and hangover to do. saturday is my much needed day off. as if that ever happens.

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quite the patio hit casie and i. impossible to lay your eyes off of. yesterday at lunch we created major masterpiece theatre didn’t we.

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this was very fun. and nerve-wracking. i killed it. youtube is telling me i can get revenue sharing from my runway video. i have like 30 videos now i can do that with, is it worth it? lemme know please.

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last minute bathroom break. i went a billion times. this was at the design exchange and we weren’t supposed to be in this part because an installation was being set up, a hipster nerd bunhead with glasses told us off while we were lining up for a runway walk through and farhaad was like EXCUSE ME!? like don’t talk to my girls that way i loved it. great diva clash moment. that’s val toronto gal and urban native girl. dope chicks.

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mucking around backstage with nick one of our cameraguys was pretty fun, it got boring at points so then we’d gossip dance around practise our walks, give each other tips and psyched each other into it make some magic and play with the camera. he said watching casie and i was very fun, we need our own show. billionth time mention.

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this is when i started crying. exhaustion and passive aggressive bullshit got to me once i read a tweet from my mom it felt honestly like the first time someone was nice to me all fucking day. ya. people think i am a monster (you are the monsters!) and then they meet me and see how pathetic i truly am then they’re like oh, no biggie, but then there are the ones who stand by their decision to hate me and the sweet only comes out when you go phoney baloney on them. i find when i am real, i get trashed on. when i play the game, we all can “get along” it’s disgusting. casie yesterday was like people hate you SO MUCH i have no idea how YOU are doing it. so this leads me to believe there is a mega (hopefully) gossip pool i am missing out on major. teacher said people hate you because they see the undeniable greatness and the something they aren’t doing, i dunno, i am just tired of it is all. ok boring moving on.

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my shorts were under scrutiny. guess what, you say you can’t wear these shorts, well i can, and you aren’t me, it’s a fucking fashion show you fascist. bahaha. when i first walked through the adjacent room to the loo everyone was SILENCED by my legs and as i was just about out of earshot i hear stacey mckenzie whisper yes those ARE small shorts. awe.

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those are legitimate dancing shoes sent from hollywood from an admirer. i am doing a striptease burlesque performance (so far solo) on july 11 at the grindhouse. it will be my first in ages. i am rejecting fear from here on out i have life by the balls again, which is what one person said when i became a harlette. i don’t have my routine prepared but i am dancing under my blog name RAYMI THE MINX and i will personify exactly that. with tail. if there’s a girl or two who want to be apart of this lemme know raymi@raymitheminx.com it’s for an online clothing store launch party, small stage, good exposure. i’m using it as an opportunity to practise my craft. i want to be a professional celebrity dancer (and barbie and a spaceman and a stegosaurus) and get invited to dita von teese’s house for scones.

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here i am meeting my bag. it matched that dress.

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on my way there i am like what the hell am i getting myself into? i was kind of flipping out. teacher is very calming and patient and kind of balances me out perfectly. i don’t get to enjoy anything that i do because i am so stressed out all the time. it fucking sucks. i am a raincloud on a parade.

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see how wary i am. cool life idiot!

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this is so jazz dance and so not fashion. cassi made a little rose brooch out of a zipper and a matching headband also out of a zipper while killing time nervously that day in class. i am wearing the brooch here.

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going zen.

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i look like an insect. perfect!

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casie’s stink eye busted!

ok enough self indulgence.

work to do!