SOBERAOKE

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i informed everyone i was cleansing sober and crazy before i sang my special raptacular rendition of loser (beck) and then i free-styled the second half it was pretty good actually i don’t know where it came from just out of me, great riffs like mel-o-dee in the melody bar dancing and drinking and playing her guitar. people lost their shit. i had multiple bathroom attacks, the adrenaline and anxiety i suffer from karaoke excitement (yes) is bad enough on its own but throw a bunch of movement pills on that and (that’ll do it) your first time out of being a social paraiah and out of my cage alone on the town with my friends who i have missed and haven’t seen enough of i didn’t need to drink and now that i am over the three day hump i feel better than ever and i am over drinking, as pre-mature easter day time drinking dangers loom ahead of me today, i am confident i will overcome, seeing as i sweated out some of my DTS (jazz hands, the horrors, the shakes) last night at the gladstoner drinking pints of water (the alcohol isn’t the problem with me, it’s the coffee). hot little bartendress of the year lines up the shots of jager for me once she sees us and i had to pass mine to courtney then i ordered a big pint of water MMMM! i hate jager anyway so it wasn’t that hard. it was nice to see the decline of society in that room as the night progressed and the predictable temper flare-ups at singers and singing hopefuls by the karaoke host. courtney remembers his name, i dont. she also hasn’t sent me the best photo of my singing yet cos she is an easter cooking for fifteen stress mess right now.

stu showed up with a gaggle of black mini-dressed mean girls who were more so levack block hopefuls nahmean therefore HATING our punk rocking out. the girl who sang before me did a dude-ish song too then i went and stu was like, it was like HMMM dom skid girls everywhere basically. yeah i never get laid or pick up when i go out cos i regress into shit show vortex and i don’t even require alcohol for this behaviour. another reason of that might be that when the beck lyric went “…and a stain on my shirt.” i got to point the huge glaring gross stain on the front of luc’s shirt i was wearing. she’s cute, she’s sloppy, but she came out of two weeks tree planting. pass.

like i said, manic. you should try it. i remember i had two weeks of sobriety when i lived in oakville and now that i recall, i was pretty damn looney tunes at the time. all in good health right?

happeaster.

this blog is now in the four digits on alexa ranking in canada. that means of the gazillions of websites in existence, I am 9,826. it fluctuates daily and i am obsessed with checking it like stocks. it’s important because through all that social media crap it shows that people are coming here, more and more, my popularity on the webs is climbing. no tricky click-throughs or clicking to “read more” to pump up my numbers, or fake twitter accounts, it’s all true honest interest in all that is me. i have never done anything tricky to get people here. people drop off and on over the years naturally and they remember it, pass it on to others, this is a very very old school means of business. it’s just simple and pure longevity. some a-hole recently commented about if there was a way to get a popular blog without having to be scandalous, nude, controversial, other stuff. i never thought of myself as controversial, i was just following what was going on at the time and going a bit further with it (not personally but according to others) because i am a natural exhibitionist and attention-seeking, but not in an overbearing sucking all the energy out of the room way, just more, i have a presence so i constantly flaunt it a little bit. i am not a wallflower.

ok i have to go now.

krista gets props for the blog title of this post.