now, where was we? Ottawa windows planet urg. that’s where. i just sent everyone off to the raveonettes and was talking about how i brought my laptop and i’ll just, oh you know, work? pah haahaha ah ha right. the last week of blog posts have been spectacularly riddled with charlie sheenisms i was thinking how i should stay away from the internet until monday. birthday week come to a close please thanks.

anywhooosers i’ll just throw up (hahaha) the rest of my pics i’ve already put on flickr then make like king tut and mummify. yeah yeah.

this is when i discovered making eye contact with the apple camera webcam duh. once i was finished being mesmerized by my own image of course. maybe this is why mac users are sooooo arrogant and big headed they look at themselves constantly on webcam and eventually believe they’re super fucking good looking or something.

can you give me just a little extra for free face. learn it live it love it and love me for the skeleton key top tip.

pop your eyes too. don’t forget your visine. i think my (teacher’s) teeth whitener strips dissolved by this point.

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i am obsessing over my cakes more and more as days go by. i am going to carole’s cafe, i’ve been poring over cake fetish photos and now i want to love the hand that feeds some.

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it was fun having my family friends at my shitty date bar. one day maybe there’ll be a raymi guided tour of the city like they do in nyc for sex and the city fanatics.

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it was fun having my mom wasted off the drink menu too. now you understand me a little more, you cannot resist the temptation of that cocktail menu. i got melodie an anita’s attitude adjuster straight off the bat, reasons why require no mention. i love this photo because you can see how i look like both my mother and aunt alison. pretty neat.

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don’t go all out now ma. keeding. i love this. i wonder if she likes finally having a daughter who enjoys and rivals the like and need of pink and girly things.

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my colleague is shooting a la last night’s (hipster) party now.

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28 year old balsamic. thank you afrim.

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yowzers all around. family representin’ what we do best. exactly what we f–in want.

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look i popped out fresh from the wax museum. shawn nice goatee shaping.

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shawny cannot resist the gang sign flashing. fuh-ine.

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i got an idea. thanks for the cards dad. colleague and i collaborated on the appropriated from the internet design. my awards are scattered on the back. couldn’t fit them all. BOOM!

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oh god man look at that hair. ahhh thank you brennen demelo, you genius. how to do pr0no hair 101. guys help me pick the best raymbo hair photo for a sponsored by brennen advert image on my sidebar.

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ooh melodie saucily spilling out over there. i love sharing my clothes with her so i can enjoy my clothes on my live-in model.

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i last minutedly felt like a cow and skinny day went away (full time pms now) so i wore black to hide it all. haha check this out from gill’z bday april 2009.

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same shit different pile. hey allison!

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hey i’m working here, do you mind? that’s what you say to strangers in real life who have problems with the happening they walked in on. this night not necessary, everyone was loving it.

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it’s my party i can be as destructive as i want to. you just got minxed.

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nice. i look like a grasshopper and dad if you were born a chick that’s what you would have looked like. weeeird.

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then the dance spirit moved through me.

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i lasted til 1 and then all these texts from party revelers came in, you there? you here? still there? uh no sorry guys.

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putting together my salt and pepper thing. teacher bought them.

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i love my stage mom hahaa. it’s like toddlers and tiaras. now, OPEN YOUR EYES MORE BIG HANDS SMILE WINK FLIRT!

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and now i have a reason to hostess. my cuisine is perfect and requires no extra sodium to taste and i always heavily crack pepper into my concotions but why not. i took so many more pictures of these today i hope you don’t get sick of them.

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i said, and, where the hell will i wear these which made my brother lose his mind laughing cos i said it in the snarkiest way ever and now i am wearing them like crazy and i look crazy in them. they will be great with daisy dukes and a simple shirt, starbucks liberty stroll and jumping in water puddles.

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my swarovski lois loot. she is taking me and mom to billy elliott next week. pumped. i’ve been wearing the hello kitty necklace round the clock as well. i might attach my other swarovski hk head to it as well one night.

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shawn’s card. have it still.

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melodie’s bb snapshot.

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i crawled out of my vortex to go to the spoke for britt’s bday. i sat by her folks and charmed her dad as much as i could. i said my dad adores britt and her dad is like well where is he then? everytime i played with my blackberry he tsk’d me and i would make up some stupid funny excuse/lie about what i was doing.

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it was a set menu. it was like a wedding. that’s the scallop starter. i chose the weird salad. i was afraid i wouldn’t be able to stomach anything. i said to the folks that if britt and i are going to remain friends we’re gonna have to better plan this birthday party staggering thing.

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weird salad and my drink, campari and other things. campari is a digestive so it’s a good drink and a sipper cos it tastes disgusting. my mom had some of my campari-ish drink at watusi and was grossed out. i have tasted a lot more of the world and i’m a boozehead so i’m now in the grossest drinks ever phase of my alcoholism. the next stage is cold turkey. sandwiches. mmmm.

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birthday girls. old girl (someone actually said that in my comments) on the left. i said in my card we should stop having birthdays at 29, kay? god i am that girl now saying those cutesy cathyesque age quips. GULP! our outfits are kind of coordinated which we did not eve pre-plan or even speak prior to this. i was fancy clothed frantic.

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see total wedding. pricey too. i’ve been used to being treated for too long. oh well worth it. it felt adult. britt’s dad was like where is your boyfriend. i stared at him. then i said five different answers.

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i had the shank as my main. you know how i is with the pasta.

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britt’s mom wore a prince pantsuit. that is my future uniform too i think. very chic celine dion classy. she wore a raaaaspberry beret.

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matches my minx nails. ok you guys were right about the popping thing.

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i don’t even want to talk about how sad this is. britt smashed it. i assisted in that. i said put it in the bubblewrap for safety after she opened it. we both thought it was a bubblewrap mini bag, it wasn’t, it fell to the floor. i got this photo at least. it’s sad because i thought about it for a month before i bought it and even posted it on my blog that i would get it for her, it is perfectly suited for her livingroom, or on her bedroom armoire. we all know how much thought and focus perfectionist gift givers (me) put into their gifts. britt’s mum was like oooh you must feel SO bad britt. HAHA nice one mom. anyway i will see if they can order another or get her the other snowglobe i momentarily considered getting, not as great as this one though. so sad. RIP emo snowglobe. you were not cheap. i slipped it in there a few times that it was designer. whether that is true or not i dunno. if you’ve ever bought such a frivolous expensive thing before as a snowglobe, unless you are one of those disney arrested development collecting freaks, you have no idea what it’s like. maybe the shock of saving your money for something more important is something to make you snicker over here. i DID immediately say once it smashed as we were picking up the pieces, don’t cry over smashed snow globes.

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yeah it was the year i became uber hot again and i was in the globe and mail for you know what and well, it was great just because i changed my life. just some crap you put on an envelope as an afterthought of deepness that you know will go in the garbage anyway. next year when she turns 27 i will have a LOT more to say. OMG GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE DUDE! i think britt might be more superstitious than i am?

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kangol j lennon hat. she always has the greatest newest accessories.

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this is like a hangover’s worst nightmare. i manned through it.

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my dismantled veal shank.

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mr. darrin pfeiffer’s punk rock fettuccine mmm.

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dude i heard your entire business call while i was in the bathroom don’t remember it wasn’t anything secretive or particularly all that juicy. i held out hope though.

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blond barbie yoko ono.

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me leaving with my present. a stuffed unicorn. it’s special because if i go online with the packet it came with a star will be named after me. i will be calling mine 123 penis lane. that has been my fake address for every single thing i have ever had to fill out an address for something you just know will end in junk mail. i can’t wait to visit this actual address some day. that will be the day. no wait. i think i’ve been there many times before already hahahaa. oh man rough birthday week is how all these blog jokes are brought to you by.

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ha debutante bitch making sure you see my hand.

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had a pit stop at teacher’s to try to nap, mostly to digest then i almost bailed on adventurehouse III but i powered through. paying for it now but a duty is a duty. glad i went and that guy came to have a mini business chat talk with me after he bought me a shot. we are doin’ lunch. i was like mmhmm yep yup sounds great good good ok so do you have money? things are great and fine on email but then when it gets to money talk all of a sudden this GREAT idea for YOU and your blog that benefits you zero, is not worthy of paying you for the work you do for it/them. silly gooses. the guy was like, we want the best so i came to you. damn straight hustler. i’ll sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman wearing white gloves, i will. (tommy boy ref)

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i dub thee, THE LAST BENDER. changing blog title to that.

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see how i look like every one and thing i stand beside?

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except for lucas. he is a neutralizer. like ginger in between sushi rolls.

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they played a special one for me, that gorillaz empire ants song, a lounge lizard trip hop version. jason osler makes fun of me on gchat once a week or so about the one song i listen to. hey guy i don’t listen to it anymore. he texted how my bday was and said don’t say to read your blog. ha. therefore i forgot to text back to it. therefore he will never know. i’ll just email him this blog blurb.

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under a year ago i brought a parade with me back from wrong bar one night. this girl was part of that herd. the adventurehouse allure is strong and almighty. tanya our bar house leader said now that she’s met me she understands the tickle trunk addiction. she is amazing. we are going to do some fun collabs together coming up just you wait and see. pressing publish now. i still have my mom’s photos to show from my birthday which everyone has seen on facebook for days now, and then my own. ooh i just remembered snl is on tonight. i don’t know how to work that tv thing so maybe i’ll just stick to being a hunchback and maybe saying bizarre stuff on my tumblr though by the time i read through this the gang will be back from the raveonettes show and will take over the place. remind me to ask my brother what he wants for his birthday. last year i got him wallabees. i’ve wanted my own pair for too long now. maybe i’ll just ask my dad.

happy saturday.

BY THE WAY i am doing this tomorrow please come. it’s a charity for japan party raffle prizes bands jamboree! stewart and i are hosting it! we are going to co-ordinate outfits and be the BEST!

WHERE: the great hall (queen/dovercourt) 1087 Queen Street West 7.30pm.

here is the lazy info on it

A BENEFIT FOR JAPAN

Bands time location and all that are on the page.

Doors are at 7.30 for silent auction, bake sale, and let the raffles begin bands start at 9.30pm

$10 tickets at the door, all proceeds going to The Red Cross, a raffle ticket include with entry fee

Cavaliers

Modern Superstitions

Donlands and Mortimer

+ special guest headliner

Prizes:
more donations today. got some tickets to see in conversation with woody harrelson, beautiful earings from dean davidson, 2 gift certificates from passage tatoo, a dine alone package 3 gift certificates from parlour salon for cut and colour tickets to cut copy, tiesto, protest the hero, timer timbre, Case of wine plus 8 glasses, dress by Valerie Osumek,
we have dinners from the drake and watusi, jewelry from ashley winnington-ball and kvell & co. clothes from las valentines and cry wolf, steam whistle tour for 10, passes to hot docs, imaginative and the reel asian film fest, cineplex package including tickets to the opera, band merch, pieces from lots of local artists/photographers, a signed bat and ball from the blue jays, a makeup set from MAC and more

Comrades, I am hosting this charity event, (yes, it is true I am just as shocked as you are) tomorrow night apparently during a blackout i said YES i will totally do this with you Stew (my boy twin) and now it’s happening, tomorrow. Come gab with me and support JAPAN cos something bad happened over there to good people. I don’t know about you but I have some cosmic Karma to turn around, I’ve been selfish for too long tomorrow night at THE GREAT HALL queen/dovercourt 7.30pm raffles bake sale other things and so on. we’re a finite resource we have to help our friends in need.