iN HER PRiMAL

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money nails much! my fingernails are endangered. Muskoka cottage

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green gator leather. semi-st. patty’s day themed enough.

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i don’t really think i will tire of being a minx girl. heartbreaker salon is located along the path of my favourite stoner route i can just walk from parkdale in a straight line up through bellwoods to dundas pop in get a rainbow design on my bare nails (buffed from home ready to go) yeah yeah and off i go. i’m a creature of routine and of habit so this suits me fine i explode through the door and update kathy on all my stupid exploits tip her a twenty then re-trace my steps back home again. if part of my routine is going to get stickers on my nails done professionally every two weeks then, so be it.

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not a bad life. it’s going to be a good summer. will totally make up for last summer when i wanted to die every three seconds. i will also be having special binikis because this pr girl is sick of seeing me in my ratty black string bikini top how funny is that.

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this one is an example of do not fuck with me.

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long thumb nail finally motivation to grow those suckers out.

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the lovely stampede man was so hypnotized by my nails when i filled out my order chit. (bison burger caramelized onions roasted red peppers hot sauce mayo and ketchup and a stiegl no sides no way) i gave him my card cos he was perplexed, do you do that every morning? no. minx nails, minx in my brand name, makes sense. when i left he was like will i see my burger on your blog?

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i said yeah sure. he goes oh my god you are canada’s most popular blogger? reading my bullshit on the card. i said yeah, technically it’s true cos he says i figured there’d be like two hundred of you by now. i said nope. not since the year two thousand. anyway he was like yeah cool and i go yeah yeah, livin’ the dream as i am sitting down to my wobbly pop and piles of creative scatterings, camera, purse scarf indie rags. then everyone in the room who was listening to this entire exchange gave up listening but one girl buckled and laughed and finally looked up at me this girl who was orating across the room i nodded at her she said something like some of us got to (live the dream). i will be each and every last one of you’s personal hero if i have to. if it kills me. i also sang all the way home from heartbreaker what do you think about that? i am pretty sure every single worthy of looking at me guy looked at me on my journey and i was like ok be careful now no more boys, we’re working on buying a house ($$/career) not manhunting.

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she did it so it’s ok if i do it. inspiration.

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me and my flower jumper this summer i am going to need a bodyguard.

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little miss mess.

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BLAMMO PAJAMO! name of fictional sick kids superhero i will draw one day if i ever get time. i will be in a hot tub tomorrow relaxing on a mini-city vacay so i will have to remember to keep my paws up. kathy says i can ask minx to custom make a raymi the minx nail design. i already know what i want.

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spring has definitely sprang and it’s my birthday month (march 31). don’t ask me what is going on i am pretending that imaginary elves are taking care of it as long as i get a shit ton of presents i don’t care if we hang in a gutter. also, potential marketer’s wet dream blog birthday bonanza opportunity for advertisers. celebrating raymi climbing out of the 27 club‘s jinx. with leopard print talons. jinx le minx.

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i sped walked like a machine there and back like the scary cop in terminator 2 i have a speed walking trck i do same as for the elliptical. my new diet plan will be to eat earlier instead of late at night stoned on dates. i have to throw gasoline on to my metabolism fire earlier or i won’t lean out ever.

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bison is more expensive but it’s better than you. HAHA than you. FOR YOU. i bought some bison sweetgrass vodka too. vodka soda diet too. BUH-ORING.

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no makes on either well just a bit of base so i looked like a scary creature from he-man but it’s ok urban dudes love the plain face. makeup face is just for you internet people.

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dinner’s on you muhfuckah.

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wow lots of yellow pigments going on there maybe i have jaundice. some days (hasn’t been lately i’m proud to say i’ve been quite good) i’ve been so hung i’d have partial bloodshot eyes and a splash of jaundice yellow making a nice orange tint to your eyeballs in the morning. YUM YUMMY! that’s when i write love sonnets to the makers of visine.

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lucas was like are you suuuuure? what? so what. bitch needs to get paid son. our hydro bill (for the chunk of winter) was $1300! luc was like i just looked at our hydro and i almost puked, the month before was $600, this house is drafty and riddled with leaks. our rent is pretty deece but the hydro is where we get punched in the nuts so when i do a buncha blog deals it’s like yay we’re all gettin’ wasters fancy time wuh oh no now i get to put a down payment on SOMETHING INVISIBLE AND INTANGIBLE that costs as much as a laptop. ok i have to stop thinking about this or i will get super fucking bummed.

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so i will enjoy the fleeting moment of what it feels like to hold a cheque in my hand the money barely gets a chance to settle in your palm before it’s straight to a bill of some sort or other. it’s not the amount (the sponsorship to me is priceless as it’s a luxury service) that i’m trying to show it’s the seeing of MINX on a cheque and for once it’s not my name misspelled (hi can we pay to the order of ronald fucking mcdonald too while we’re at it? RAYMI THE MINX is not a real person, she cannot deposit money i’m sorry to burst the fantasy bubble) it’s the brand saying hey what’s up to me and my brand. i dunno just funny and cute and neat. i have a minx magazine too from when i was 16 an ex-bf found it for me. it tanked of course cos i’ve never seen it since.

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hope my metabolism is doing its work right now. no more eating after 7/8.

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which means i am going to become way more psychotic with my food obsession and photographing meals.

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not a bad day. no not at all. thank you for asking.

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catch ya on le flipside.