shit i been up to

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hi there fräuleins, please don’t forget or leave me ever thank you! now with that out of the way lets get down to business. show time!

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look it’s my brother and don cherry this morning. they went for coffee together at tim horton’s and fell in love over my brother’s fire safety technicianing at a vetrinary and don was there with his ill parakeet with a sad face and my brother was like oh buck up don. no kidding that didn’t happen at all. but this doesn’t exactly look like a vet clinic at all to me. when shawn was on the phone i thought he was building up to and THEN i told him all about you lauren and your blog and now we have season’s tickets. nope. just, can you email me this photo so i can put it on facebook? haha sure yep. no problem. but then i had to do it for him and when he told what his password was i laughed. we have similar disgusting passwords. we definitely fell off the same burning in hell tree.

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me as a scary monster this morning at cherry bomb. they added soy to the table i think SPECIFICALLY for me because i always ask for it and they always sigh (soy sigh) and hand it over begrudgingly. we’ve been doing this dance for months now and so they added this tiny meant for coffee soy container which doesn’t suffice, it has higher fat ratio so it doesn’t separate in my americano, that does not appeal because why do i want fat in my coffee? retarded. also, cherry bomb’s coffee is super insanely hot so i need to pour half a cup of soy into it to cool it down if i want any sustenance pre-motion room work out or i’ll scald my insides out and i am so not pouring half a cup of extra fat soy thank youuuuuuuuuuuu. anyway, i just said no i don’t like that soy, i don’t like change. they’re all whatever idiot here you go. there’s one girl there i love cos i always say early morning manic crap at her, i’m typically hung and i used to say so to her until she pointed out that i was doing that so then i stopped doing that and i feel like i have to keep it together in there. i draw a crowd, or attention from it with my zany work outfits and wild spectacular platinum hair.

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yeterday mitizi’s had one of those bands that melt your heart. panflutes and pipes and ahh man love that shit.

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best encore ever what is this edward sharpe and the magnetic zeroes i dig that and all the strung out sunday lush messes were dancing all over the place and lying all over the ground and it was certainly a happening. a moment. we were at the bar deep in the vortex. caught in the abyss. the one server there fully obsessed and addicted to his job, teacher says, he must refer to himself as mitzi’s brother. haha only toronto people will get that (it’s actually called mitzi’s sister)(this hilarious joke made me laugh for a long time).

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tin on tin very classic.

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oh what do i have for lunch today hmmmm wonder if it’s anything worth trading.

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my mom in my comments was all it looks like a 1940s vintage something or other. oh? does it now? are you sure? mom do you even read my blog properly?

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this could conceivably be a great spring suit for when the wind gets whippy on you and you goosebump all over. it’s wool i think.

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i’m gonna party with casie this year. ballin’ clem need to borrow one of these dresses please.

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the soup of the day i mean, yeah. basically you won’t look so cute as a cokehead when you’re 35.

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mm hi there.

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i live in a magician’s trunk. for real.

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i will be wearing this with black tights.

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i will make an appearance at auld spot for old time’s sake at some point. i went there last year like this. i’ll show my st. pat’s photos from last year soon i never got around to it. march was a crazy month.

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fixing my girls. when i put this on i was transported back to burlesque and the dance solo i never got around to. my name was lida hosen. how perfect would this outfit have been? anyway i can and still will choreograph a routine, several maybe and film them or i dunno. i have dita von teese level aspirations if i gun for that i can land somewhere in the middle, in-between and well, you never know.

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i’m going to walk around as if i don’t know i’m in a get-up like this. maybe i’ll do extensions and braids. and charge people to have a photo with me.

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enterprising.

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now what. what’s next. day by day. someone asked me what my 5 year plan was? are you serious? more like five minute plan. good call though. i’m going to grow up now.

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i told the teacher that there’s a friend i have that i identify with. he is the guy version of me. saw him last (last i saw him, i am borderline-dyslexic) and was kinda bored, speaking is irrelevant, we have the exact same stories. date machine-gunning our way through the weeks and so i’m like so how’s work, and he goes, perfect actually, better than ever. raise, promotion, awesome office whatever other amazing work things could go right for a person. i just stared at him with my mouth open slightly jealous yet and in complete awe.

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why i’m sore i dunno but i’m not surprised. this guy is beautiful and hot and manly, good looking people have it easier and fall into luck like crazy and for myself not saying i’m cleopatra or anything but i know i get to bill dance my way through life jumping from luck stone to stone in a marmalde colour brook with rainbows and hearts and butterflies floating all around me. job? what the hell is a job? i actually asked the teacher if classrooms still had desks and if he had a bigger one facing the rest of the students like how it was for me in school. i am basically gary busey.

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april lives in a neat place. with neat weird shit outside.

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totally makes sense, is normal, yup yup. can you picture me as a villain in a slasher flick or horror movie. i was invited to be the star of a troma movie back when i had black hair and blunt bangs. if i just went to new york. could still do it. this is how sub-genre indie i am hahaha GAH blah.

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i need a date with a duvet doctor i don’t know how to get my comforter in it it’s one of my “things” i refuse to learn how to do and i think i blog about it every single time WHYYYYYYY oh why am i soooo hard done by.

ok i just repulsed even myself.

now do you want to see the saddest bathroom in the world?

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i slummed it in hamilton and woke up here.

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oh spectacular industrial wasteland like a siberian mad max look at how we hug the planet.

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total recall robocop stacks we went up an elevator into OPEN AIR way up here like batman or some scene at the end of an action film when shit does down. then we walked to the apartment/condo thing, kind of like those buildings in england, that zombie movie, 28 days later. kind of get the creeps. someone in my comments tried to tell me that hamilton wasn’t a shithole. well now, clearly you didn’t go to where i went. lois wanted to teach me a lesson. my coug crew egged me on to this and i was like ok i’ll take one for he team. you better ba-lieve that shit is never happening again.

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!!!!

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok bye for real now.

have a lovely manic monday.

XOXO