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the rentals were returned.

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by lucas. i was worried they’d be forgotten. they blended perfectly with their surroundings.

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my arm needed attention. it was a battle making it out to brunch. we were disasters. are you guys ready yet? lucas goes, well, melodie isn’t wearing pants. i screeched at darius that they weren’t even ready yet meanwhile i was a hangover stoner mess of myself and he’s like she is SO ready i said no she’s not those aren’t pants they’re tights without any underwear (fake out) the entire house was talking about melodie and her pantslessness. it made the funhouse news.

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lucas is starting to look like terry richardson. good stuff.

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while i am looking more and more like revenge of the nerds and garth. melodie has also been doing a revenge of the nerds laugh lately. i have noted it twice and pointed it out once. the second time confirmed the first time she laughed like that.

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i made it in time to the bank then the dealer then the lcbo had to hoof it a bit a ways back to roncesvalles (worst word to remember how to spell ever and i have to use it a lot cos i live near it aghhhh i will move out of parkdale just because of this word i swear i will) in order to make it to era in time, brian said he had to be out of there by 4.30 i wasn’t going to make it. finally a cab. oh right i had to go home to check my bank account because the sketchy atm in that variety store said i didn’t have enough money. so i accepted a payment i had been lagging on and i so totally had triple enough to cover the cost of this table prior to accepting that payment that ate up my precious table time. be wary of that sketchy atm in the variety store at the corner of roncess/queen.

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i needed to have this table right a-fucking-way. a cab rolls by hurry and we make it as brian is checking outside the door i lower the window and yell at him HIIIIIIIIII YAY!!!!!!! i am totally amazing like that. i bet he didn’t think i was coming back.

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my perfect size.

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i am now inspired to clean the rest of my dump up.

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last night, jeremy invited me to his restaurant for a private panel of feasting and judging. i sat with real food elitists and man were they ever critical, honest, harsh maybe. i said clearly i do not know what i am talking about here as i became the yes girl of the table saying that everything was perfect. signe langford and jamie really impressed me and i think i charmed them too.

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they wanted our professional opinions. even though i am green in the culinary world, my opinions matter here because i am an actual regular cafetaste customer. i’ve brought dates here, lining jeremy’s pockets whilst consuming everything off the menu.

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got buzzed and immediately felt at ease. i hadn’t eaten all day. i was in an odd mood. i went out with grief. some bad news yesterday. these people cheered me up.

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signe is marvelous. i asked if she ever gets (compared to) janeane garofalo? she said no. i said well you totally so do. she’s also quick like her, smart, sassy.

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nice to look at too. jamie, i asked him if he likes tim burton (totally being dressed like a tim burton character) and he said no, matter of factly. not even knowing who tim burton even fucking is! i reject that reality.

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trout cakes. amazing. not actual presentation. will get two of them with kozlik’s mustard. the maple one. signe says the garlic one is even hotter than triple hot which is the one we have.

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i loved these and love that the taste of the bread is apparent, grainy, wholesome wheat flavour. carb explosion last night.

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onion soup. love it.

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signe criticized it to pieces. i sat there with my mouth open at her. it was amazing. i wrote her this,

sorry if i said anything that pissed you off unintentionally. not sorry for anything i said intentionally to piss you off. i said the same to jamie.

you really impressed me. you really impress me i mean.

don’t be a stranger.

xo men blow

your pal raymi

ps. all media on the person what is me i have linked here http://aboutraymi.blogspot.com/

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I spent 10 years in professional kitchens; you’d have to dig deep to say something that would piss me off.

Cheers,
Signe

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she loved the duck confit. we all did. thank god. House-cured Quebec duck w/ thyme and vegetable.

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they tore this to pieces. figuratively. wait is that right? this is when i chimed in most as i’ve had this before. twice. no one talks shit about my Braised Beef w/ VQA Jus – Slow-braised local beef in red-wine jus, atop house-crafted breads w/ onions & garlic. so totally nothing wrong with it at all AT ALL do you hear me signe?

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i told those two know-it-alls that i am never inviting them over for dinner. ever. i bet melodie would love the shit out of them though. she would have loved sitting there fighting with them. i wished she was there fighting with them because i was such an in shock pussy i was rendered almost mute. though i did have some heavy shit on my mind at the time.

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cozy place. perfect couple date place. jeremy what a perfect cliche you created. smart guy. i remember you said you stood on the shoulders of giants when melodie and i were singing your sommelier praises, you study the best therefore you are. same with these people you invited. myself included.

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send me these photos jamie! right meow. i told them that i meowed at jeremy as a freudian slip and now all we do is make fun of me for it now, i mean meow. i didn’t meow in a come hither way just totally meowed in response to something jeremy said i was barely paying attention to. what’s that meow? you know the cop meowing scene from super troopers right? google it i’ve had enough of this.

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kinda hot too, fun to flirt with if even a bit clued out.

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goat cheesecake. the food snobs loved it. i was underwhelmed.

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the chocolate nut butter is my favourite. they’ve had it awhile. still phenom. high end reece peanut butter.

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bread pudding will just not leave me the fuck alone will it? it’s super good, in the presentation section i said my grandma would love it. it’s boring and sweet, the food snobs naturally liked it, even though jamie isn’t into dessert.

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i have fifty photos of this shrinking in size by me. i’ll spare you.

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i wore that shirt for my dad. he asked me about it when i showed him the folder of pictures from my bro/mine’s last birthday. jamie thought it was the face of a cat and arms or something. it’s john and yoko haha. signe and i are in love.

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i doodled these as i spoke to the american on the phone.

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a cab driver tried to convince me to let him drive me to burnoutington. i was like um no thanks i can just get the train i’m already on my way to catching. why would i want to be trapped in an expensive shitty car ride with a creepo when i could be alone baked on a train. i wouldn’t.

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the american comes back on valentine’s day. whoever buys me on the tenth will be the last date i ever go on. some rich fucker better buy me.

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get ready for repetition.

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i felt the curious gaze of a man on my neck. i didn’t have to look. i knew he was watching.

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cafetaste buzz, bright train late at night lights. going into a wormhole.

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look at the yuppie carnage left behind.

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disgusting. is the world your trashbin?

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the lawyer i used to see had an email account that went out as NIGHT TRAIN. you can guess what it stands for. he sent emails to clients before realizing. such a bafoon. uber uber hot though.

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this has got to be the cruelest most unflattering photo ever. how terrible of this magazine, that is not cool. you have revealed the trash of your intentions, anti-team player. what magazine is this? rag mag. worse than the sun.

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trying to get this snow pile.

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then i looked over and noticed the man. just gave him a glance. went back to taking pictures of myself/snow pile and my grandmother’s old retirement residence that was $5k a month to take care of her. my grandfather left it in his will, his wishes were for her to be cared for, so loving, leaving that money aside, a grand gesture i think. such a way to go for her. luxury. she thought she was living in england, no, literally. and we played along to keep it mellow. some people get trapped in the terror of their memories when they have dementia. my grandmother was in a wonderful headspace, she thought my grandfather was still alive at war, in france, she offered my brother a double gin (her room had no bar) and she said she had just gotten off the phone (her room had no phone either) and she always always always complimented my white teeth. even my ex’s too. very smart woman. went to cambridge. looked like queen elizabeth. total lady, manners, class, intellect. great style as well. melodie wears a lot of her things that don’t fit me right. go sheila white.

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i’ve never arrived so late before. i really didn’t want to be at my place. i wanted to be with my dad. he is pretty bummed right now. it’s a small unit so it’s an impact definitely. dad said he sleeps better at night knowing i’m here.

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rocky is turning into a porcupine.

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when i got here i took off my coat and my dad went hey nice shirt! i had totally forgotten what i was wearing or who or what i was by this point so i looked down and went, oh right, yeah, haha i wore this for you. and we hugged. my aunt alison was here too. nice to see her. i emulated the entire outfit for my dad because he is living in the past forever and so am i.

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my mom was pissing me off with her picture taking but more so i was getting pissed off by my dad and brother overreacting about it so i said here take MY picture just one with my camera now please and blammo, a picture that says ten thousand words.

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i love buying toys for my dad. he has a shelf of all the crap i buy him. it inadvertently encourages me to buy him even more crap.

BURNOUTINGTON REPRESENT.

++++

bahah follow up from jamie:

Of course I know who Tim Burton is!

I’ve met the chap once too.

I’m just not too fond of his films.

That is all.

my reply:

why are you trying to look like him then

HAHAHHAHA