sleeping with the frenemy

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hi there bag end. i found my faux raybans i found in the bathroom of barranga’s over the summer. britt accused them of being hers on saturday. there is nothing more purely enjoyable then knowing you are right about something so i confidently informed her these weren’t real ray bans, they are garbage ray bans found in a garbage bathroom because my life is garbage. garbage. ok i didn’t say it in that way or at all period. moving forward now.

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this is the purgatory vestibule of adventurehouse separating the real world from adventureworld, will i get in this time, or will the doorknob come off in my hands? super likely. it’s like the labyrinth you better get it right on the first few turns. i got desperate today but my trusty hardware skills came back to me, i calmed down and wiggled and jimmied until it clicked. took about five minutes. phone was dying too. CONTACT EVERYONE SEND HELP I CANNOT GET IN. but i did. crisis averted.

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i like ezra’s pound. a lot. if i was a different person when i lived on st. george i might have occupied that place at the time. i will show you photos of my old balcony later on. i could never show it because we lived in a super easily identifiable condo. one of the top ten to live in in the city (there was an article clipped to the corkboard in the laundry room informing us of this) anyway, our balcony was the same size as our unit, pointed, expansive and looked on to the park with all those screaming children.

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once you see one thing, you see it everywhere. like the typewriter in my painting. or my red docs. i’ve seen so many people in oxblood eight holes.

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winterland.

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where am i? when am i?

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my girl, my girl. don’t lie to me. tell me where did you sleep last night?

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oh man, what a night. worlds collided. huge time. my ex, two groups of friends i stopped being friends with when we split, well, one set still friends with but kinda separated, you can’t have everyone. the other set just took his back, no dice, some of these people i never liked anyway and actually somewhat despised only because they were nothing but condescension and passive aggressive cuntyness and then this nite all was confirmed yes in fact, she spoke shit about you tons all along. excuse me while i take an i told you so bow. some chicks just always gotta be the alpha.

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happy birthday alicia!!! you guys got married i’m so happy for you. i am serious about consulting for joe and adam’s magic career.

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brad was newf drunk. i was drunk drunk. britt was HOSED.

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she loves this photo. i got brad hooked on this stuff. oh right i owe you for some of these drinks.

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i wanted to give my card out to a few dudes but everyone was gonged and i feel like if i give a guy the tiniest (non-existent to the naked eye) inkling of an opening of a chance and they don’t take it then they are not man enough for me and in the crush of bodies i was definitely thumper prey, everyone cock-blocked each other. i did make out with that los angeles dude slut that kenny and betty dragged in down by the bathroom. i was over it immediately.

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next time just wear the scarf.

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american gothic. i lined up the cn tower through the window.

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brad photobombs me. he’s been doing it since before it became a meme. trailblazer!

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we were getting jacked on chocolate coffeebeans and champagne pomegranate mimosas.

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tired looking furry and pink. a dude behind me snickered that someone would be putting this photo ON TO THEIR FACEBOOK and the leatherface wet blanket gold digger with him watching the football game smiled. i whipped my head around and glared at her then went back to ignoring them. then they left shortly thereafter. don’t fucking instigate shit and then back down from it friggin pisstank sittin’ around a pub all day drinking in the afternoon.

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so we got up and took this photo and i didn’t look over at them once but they were totally watching. this happens in restaurants ALL the time, complacent smug unhappy chicks chowing down on deep fried platters oh what fun your life is we’ll just sit down now and try to be as invisible as possible so that you don’t have to feel threatened.

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WALL OF SMUGNESS.

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purgatory sinners.

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sinless.

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it’s a sin looking this good. ha. get me a tshirt and a sharpie, quick quick the asshole from within is emerging.

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one day when i have two seconds i am going to get my ears pierced.

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they make my ears bright red and kinda hurty. melodie can’t believe women back in the day used to do this. these are screw on. visualize it. your ear in a vise.

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this is one of my cute manipulative faces you see once you are already “in” and we’re messing around and i am trying to get you to make me something to eat.

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this is fakey smile shyness pose when too many dudes in the room are staring at the platinum mega blond girl.

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shy trying to be fierce above it pose.

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pretending to do something showcase the other side of the face pose. this is good for at indigo.

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bridget jones outfit i wore to andy’s poolhall friday night. i got made fun of and also encircled by several horny mobs of dudes both melodie and i did our girl gang dance routines they are quite the hit especially when you couldn’t give a fuck about anyone in your immediate vicinity, you look cool and dance sexy and awesome.

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this is the chasing after mark darcy in the snow without pants on outfit she wears. all the meatheads loved it cos of my running shoes. nerds.

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paddock earlier than that, post existential play me and superjew went to. i’ve in the past exclusively only ever inhabited the paddock on blow so it’s weird to go there like normal clientele, consisting mostly of rich got something to show whilst being casual types.

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i looked like this.

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my graffiti time capsule from four years ago is still there.

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sometimes my life feels like a graphic novel.

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i live in the west end of the city. when i have an appointment in the east(ish) i spread myself around quite a bit, killing time, making my way home, waiting for dates.

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sometimes it feels like i am eighteen again wishing i was an adult having a life i now presently lead and totally not being happy enough with it.

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hair blow out tutorial thinger with fabfind at brennen demelo. official post coming another day. brennen did my roots too what a doll. such a coincidence to revisit my old salon who want to steal me back. hair world, man, it’s cut throat. punintentional.

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showed up like this. anita is that you?

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oh shawna.

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nice. where’s dan deacon?

uh oh spaghettio gotta go!