and she won’t look at you won’t look at you

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247990008/

up for another random photo dump? when events pass the way you’d divulge them changes. you can spill more with more time put between you and that thing.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247990650/in/photostream/

a date. i don’t remember his name. i don’t know if he reads this. i don’t remember where i was going to after this or the lie i told to cover it up or who i was off to see even. it’s been a frenzy. a frenetic date machine malfunction.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247991200/in/photostream/

bahahaha awesome.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247388993/in/photostream/

i know it wouldn’t work out. we pretended maybe it could for an hour and a half. he paid. he tried to call me a few times i’d just reply by text saying i was busy (i was) and i don’t talk on the phone (i don’t)(but if i do it’s something special).

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247992092/in/photostream/

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he is severely intelligent. a would-be passionate lover. but he has an accent. i told him i am not attracted to accents, only a specific tiny circle of accents will i allow myself to be drawn to. they must be drunken and unintelligible.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247994292/in/photostream/

i just couldn’t get over the accent i am so jerry seinfeld. i knew immediately when we accidentally passed each other downstairs by the bathrooms. it was really cold outside too, the restaurant was dark, candlelit. our weird energy was vibing out everyone in the room. i don’t normally do dates at to be-seen type establishments. a place i’d likely review. too many lookers in this town. curious eyes. or i am just hyper-sensitive and shy and i think like the entire world knows i am on a date and they know the deep shame i feel that i am pretending my way through it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247390013/in/photostream/

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i’ll come back to this.

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and this.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247994984/in/photostream/

wolf parade night.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247394073/in/photostream/

apparently this was to be their last toronto show in a while. i could be at bss tonight at the sound academy but i am favouring being a shut-in too much.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247394463/in/photostream/

after wolf parade we went to this party at the legion on niagara. a guy screamed out camel toe at me. i walked over to him, and by this point i had just about enough of peanut gallery commentary and opinions from every direction in life (internet, everyone, everywhere, non-stop!) so i walked over to the drunk guy sitting in a chair with his back to me. i bent down so my face was in his face. his friend is waving his arms across his chest back and forth like a runway navigator and apologizing profusely. i was alone standing awkwardly in this empty room, after making the dance party happen with melodie spreading cheer and glee and making it fun for the last twenty minutes and then some guy screams out CAMELTOE at me. if he’s man enough to do something like that then he’s man enough to own up to it no matter how much his friend is trying to backpedal for him.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247998944/in/photostream/

i said excuse me did you have something to say to me? he garbles some wasted nonsense so i lean in a little closer and raise my voice a little and say because i have something to say to you (i’m getting goosebumps right now as i type this i fucking hate confrontations but sometimes if you’re loaded enough and someone thinks they can go all lower east side on you then you gotta fucking let them have it) it’s not that this (gesturing to my crotch with both hands in that WWF v-placement) is a camel toe, because its not, then i spread the material of my onesie to demonstrate that the material isn’t even touching my privates, and as we’re all now staring, down, at me, the person in the huge wizard of oz gatekeeper hat, legs spread wide in this guy’s face, i say, because THIS is not a cameltoe, it is where i am fucking SPLIT up the middle you fucking ASSHOLE now is that ok with you?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247396587/in/photostream/

stunned silence. if someone is going to be crass to me then i am definitely going to be vulgar right back. i said this before, with me, you are never taking me lying down. ever. i’m from falconer, guy.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247397025/in/photostream/

the promoter chick comes over at this juncture in time and says to the drunk guy, what’s this chick beaking off at you for about? AS IF! i look up at her and say this has NOTHING to do with you meanwhile melodie goes yeah what does it matter to you? she immediately is siding with this drunken piece of shit at her failure of a promoted party like she’s going to fuck him and threatened by me. wrong move girl. also, girl on girl crime too.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247397403/in/photostream/

she seriously took that street tone of voice too like she was “backing” her crew. the moment ends, that circle of people move toward the door, melodie is asking me what happened, i’m telling it then the guy who called me camel toe screams at me from across the room a whole bunch of shit starting it up all over again, saying it’s not russia (my hat) and calling me a stupid bitch. the girl is smirking and waving sorry sorry and shrugging he’s an idiot. so i say yeah, and so are you.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248000500/in/photostream/

melucas are off in la la talking land i’m left to own big mouth devices again. the circle by the door opens up, a clearing is made for this diva now, hands on her hips, now, what did this bitch say to me??? so i start marching on over whipping my head over my shoulder with a finger at melodie and hissing COME HERE MELODIE IT’S ONNNNN. ahahhaha.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247398273/in/photostream/

she didn’t come so i had to keep going right up to this crowd of people all intent to bully me. i was just loaded enough to have the nerve for it. i said excuse me what is your name i want your contact information. by this time i’ve learned she’s in charge of this event, helped promote it (terribly) and its come to my attention that maybe you shouldn’t step on the toes of others in the city if you’re in PR and one of those toes is attached to the author of the largest-read blog in the same city.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248001546/in/photostream/

what’s up sheedy how’s the pit?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248002184/in/photostream/

i did absolutely nothing wrong, i enjoyed my night, i took care of my own. why does this happen all the fucking time? yeah i could let things go, and i so do, but after awhile there’s just some things that you cannot let go. i was trying to help that idiot know that it’s not ok to yell camel toe at last call at a girl and it’s not ok to tag team her when she justifiedly sticks up for herself about it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247399837/in/photostream/

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and while i was trying to let that girl know she was in the wrong just a little but whatever it’s ok the friend who was initially apologizing to me about the camel toe idiot had decided that i was now a, and i quote “disgusting fucking bitch”. amazing.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248004672/in/photostream/

you can’t please everyone.

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aaand this is why we never leave the house.

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the theme of this party was dapper handsome gentleman i dunno. great concept. i am in no way dogging on the party. i wish them well.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247403563/in/photostream/

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this hat just gets me in so much trouble.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248007714/in/photostream/

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i was super sick too.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5248014648/in/photostream/

bet she caught it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247411905/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5247412323/in/photostream/

ok fine laundry time otherwise i’m sleeping with an even bigger clump tonight.