be careful what you say the devil is listening

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5199589841/

hi lululemon! thanks for the discount. this is how you get a discount friends, just say you are the president of imaginaryland and they’re like ok sure no problemo. i loooove the pants i chose and i got a work out shirt too which was kind of ridiculous but looks good so whatever. i checked my bank account today and have decided mother warbucks needs to take a bit of a rest. spending money will not make me any happier long term. or skinnier.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5200183660/in/photostream/

so expensive. i wanted to get a pair of the classic pair too. next time. i went with insight pant cos of all the zippers and cute details and i don’t have cankles so why would i go with bells? they do help hide my love handles though or make me look carmen electra curvy in a dated gina way which i like cos i am sort of tacky sometimes and nostalgic.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5200184092/in/photostream/

zero makeup raymi. tomorrow is my consult at the motion room i can’t wait and stayed in tonight to be good. filled out my form wanna read it? yes? cool.

What are your expectations of the motion room?

to give me kelly ripa arms and rid me of my love handles.

How would you describe your lifestyle?

i party a lot, i drink too much, i smoke weed, i eat rich foods often but balance that by starving myself and coast on lots of coffee throughout the day. i might eat once a day and then at night i over eat. im nocturnal.

(bahahahha “i balance that” ahahahahhahahaha)(yes i balance being disgustingly unhealthy with even more disrespectful body torture)

What would you most like to change in your current lifestyle?

drink less

What do you enjoy most about exercise?

the feeling afterward and seeing results

What do you not enjoy about exercise?

traveling to the gym by bike, it’s far from where i live. i have guilt when i don’t exercise.

Do you feel you have additional motivation and support from family/friends?

yes. i need to stay physically fit as i am in the public eye and extra scrutinized. i also have high personal standards for aesthetics and fashion also dictates things, you just look better in clothes skinnier.

When was the last time you did achieve or were at your goal?

i have periods of mania weight loss. i suffer from depression and if the body doesn’t want to lose weight then it won’t no matter how much i work out, the summer made me fat. my metabolism got out of whack now that it’s getting back to normal something finally clicked within me and my body is allowing for me to get sleek and toned again, it’s already happening.

How often did you work with your Fitness Professional to achieve your goals?

i work out alone

What goals did you achieve?

(when i joined my gym last year) started getting ab definition and my arms became more toned but i didnt realize it at the time because i have body dysmorphia.

What was the time frame?

a month. very little work out gets me into shape.

there’s more to it, just yes or no tick offs. so based on all the crap i said and how i do tomorrow they will design a personalized routine for me. an assault gauntlet. i am stoked. today i hit the elliptical like a spazzoid. if the machine doesn’t caps lock scream at me on the moving ticker SLOW DOWN TO LOWER HEART RATE then i am not working out hard enough. i love to get a machine with a window alignment so i can stare at my reflection and bounce in tandem with the music i’m listening to. listening to jams makes it easier and you can mentally traverse through fantasy disco dancing superstar world and time goes faster. today it was to the blow soundtrack. brings me back to manhattan beach.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5200516600/in/photostream/

i saw jackass 3d again. still funny.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5200519282/in/photostream/

flickr is being a twat can’t upload all my pics. this is during chat roulette on saturday nite. more like penis roulette. it’s bizarre yet completely understandable. a real glimpse of the world and how quickly you are willing to disrobe for strangers. you can watch them watch you. it’s fucked.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5199994587/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5200587806/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5200001471/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5200047393/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5200048115/in/photostream/

got the lips down pat.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5200050639/in/photostream/

if i had more visuals i’d say more.

i had jerk chicken tonite and sake and hotel lobby couch surfing in my tickle trunk vortex. i think if i had a gym in my hood i would stop dating altogether.