this is not a love song it’s a sonnet damn it feels good to have people up on it
city people stay single longer. suburban people are simpler and already out here doing the suburban thing so the next obvious move is shacking up. they’re just as good looking as city people too, maybe even better looking, i’m serious. they don’t really even know it either. this is how you bag a dude, girls. go suburbs. i was just cruising me some facebook and the light bulb went off, all these hot hugging regular folk and i was like now WHAT is the deal with that? the girls snag the guys and mind fuck wet blanket them for years that’s the deal with that. suburban guys are used to mothering so they get girlfriends who mother, then they become mothers. every couple has a clique cluster surrounding it and these people are going to know each other for years, their kids will grow together and so on and no one is allowed to infiltrate this mini army. these are the consumers that keep the economy going, they buy all that useless shit, US weekly, follow city trends and give you slit eyes in the supermarket.
BUT, who is happier? who is left wanting?
they made a family, they kept it simple, they fear the city after awhile, definite bubble world. i’ve lived between both worlds many times and they refer to THE CITY in this voice, this elusive emerald city tone of voice like it’s a very big deal. like you can only have fun in the city, so much pressure to have fun in the city when they go to the city, it’s like new years eve every friday. i’ve gone out to the burbs a few times to get down and they’re like, why? lets turn around and go back you came from fun town girl. this girl can have fun anywhere is my point, one of.
there’s a bit of jealous rivalry between the suburbs and the city. if you don’t go to the city and carve out a city life you feel like you missed out just a little. i know i would have that’s why i broke up with my first boyfriend, i had my sights set on bigger shit. me traipsing around out here now like an arrogant tit is somewhat of a slap in the face of one whose roots are here, roots that are spreading. i’m an evil spinster lone wolf chick and yeah i have a persecution complex for sure but it doesn’t mean i’m wrong when i sense things from other women.
i represent the life they didn’t choose, maybe wanted. i represent a world unknown.
i am going out with my mom tonight and i know what’s going to happen before it will happen. just because i look this way, whatever you think i am insinuating about myself here, doesn’t mean i too am not shy or hurting. i put my pants on one leg at a time like everybody else. it takes courage to get over your head and all the mental psyche outs in it, face a room of strangers who all one by one down the gauntlet of a bar shoot why are you here expressions it’s a smack in the face hello the second you walk through a door. so my game is to look at the ground and scurry in unnoticed it’s kind of funny. i should float in like a fucking peacock but i won’t and don’t. in grade seven jackie asked me why i stare at the ground when i walk. i didn’t know i did that until she pointed it out. i guess i am shy. i avoid all eye contact with men too. so many moments i let pass by. hi hot guy that is totally my type see you again never. i feel like the top of my head is burning hot, too much attention all at once, can’t deal. what are you supposed to do out here, walk up to one of those high tables and address all four guys at once, hello, hi, here i am hi! fucking awkward.
then all the dudes in my mom’s peer group cockblock the shit out of me. i think this is my problem, i’m in the wrong age group. i’m too old and too young at the same time. the suburban guys see my mom and want to impress her instead of me because they (wrongly) assume the apron string is tied around my waist still so they answer her two thousand interview questions and there is absolutely no shutting her up after a glass of pinot, then everyone is watching the big clusterfuck of these two lohans. mom if you mess with my game tonite you will pay.
haha i like how i started this post about my suburbanism wisdoms and turned it into how much of a victim i am. i think i might have aspergers, someone suggested that. why am i so brutally honest? i am? yeah emphasis on the BRUTAL and then maybe you have aspergers. no way i refuse that possibility because i fancy myself an intellect here and only idiots say things that they shouldn’t. yes i am being “funny” as i know i say so many things i shouldn’t. i am irony incarnate.
i am on my period right now so i know not what i do. FREE PASS.
and now i must prepare for C O U G A R C R A W L. watch yourselves.
in summation, city people stay single longer because they think they can do better, or that there is better but guess what, they can’t and there isn’t.
i receive so much normalising-and-validating-action from your posts it sometimes blows my little, freakin’ mind. awesome post and highly relevant. keep calm and carry on, raymi!!
i can relate to the expectation of coming back to the burbs and hearing what you hear…
what about those raised suburban and matured city? misplaced?
I’m still single, and WAY suburban. I don’t feel like I missed out on living in TO though…I just never felt the need to. Also I wish I could meet up with you tonight (not that I was invited lol) but my ex is on his way over. Have fun!!
So I guess basically what I am saying is that I am the exact opposite of how you describe a suburban woman…but I have never been the status quo type.
you are always invited binsky
dude i am moving back to burlington end of the month. leave a few hot suburbanites for moi.
DUDE DUDE followed by DUDE. this is HUGE.
if you ask me, it’s all about choice. just like all the fucking choices of ketchup in the grocery store, if you pick one and stick with it there is the nagging feeling that there is one out there that tastes even better. city people have way more choices, so no matter how great the guy/girl you are with might be, there’s always the possibility that there’s a better one around the corner. for me, settling down with one person in the city felt too much like, well, settling. it’s like a goddamn curse or something, trying to date in a big city. it’s never good enough.
no one is good enough in the city. there is a massive dating scene of bullshit. everyone wants to settle but no one knows how or with whom. too many flavours and they all cancel each other out.
there are pro’s and con’s to both sides of these situations. Ya just gotta appreciate what you have, being single in the city, or married in the suburbs, or single in the suburbs or married in the city. y’know? As long as you’re happy & NOT settling. I’m married in the “suburbs” if you can call my town that, but i’m no “motherly wife” or a wet blanket. And fun is where you create it, whether its in the city, in the suburbs, in the ocean, on the moooon.
Have fun with your mom, on the prrrowllll..
I love it. I think that might be true.
Sickening!
I don’t think it’s about better, it’s more, about better fit.
I live in the same big city as you yet see fewer options as I am not constantly out and about looking for them. That said, the selection of women, at least from a plain and simple physical attraction standpoint is better only because a larger number of “nice looking” men and women seem to gravitate toward metropolitan area’s.
When I lived in a small city i felt as if there were very few women to date, it was depressing. Having a better selection in Toronto didn’t change my outlook on what I wanted or needed, it just gave me more to choose from.
in the end, the journey, if you can call it that, is about finding a person that is better for you…. not a person that is better than the rest.
where can i find the rest of the paint cartoons youve made?
I had the opportunity to settle in my small town with my boyfriend of 3 years, get married, have kids, he would play hockey, I would do god knows what. I loved him dearly, and actually did think we would get married, but I felt something missing and knew I needed to search for it.
Then, I moved across the country to this city. In this city, I also had an opportunity to settle down with someone, someone who worshiped and adored me, but something didn’t feel right. Something told me there was more than that.
Both of these guys are now engaged to the girl they dated right after me.
Both times I could have been comfortable, I could have been safe, but I went the uncomfortable route, and even though I’m single, insecure and fucked up, even more so now that many of my friends are now getting married, I still don’t regret those decisions.
I agree with V, that there are a lot more options in the city, I’m trying to find that one person who when I meet them I do not give a fuck about any of these options, and I want them them them them.
Overachiever, type A personalities that seek perfection and success are naturally drawn to the city life, people always looking for more.. but I don’t think it’s the city that keeps someone single, I think it’s the person (and the aforementioned personality attributes) that keep someone single.
I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now, and I’m originally from Burlington. I’ve lived in Toronto for years but still have friends and family there. I feel like you make Burlington seem as though its an inbred blue collar farming town. Yes I agree some people can be judgmental and not very open-minded but the people I know in Burlington are mostly wealthy and cultured. They do not refer to Toronto as “The City” like they live in a trailer in rural Alabama or something. It is a normal decent sized city, not a town. I get that you are probably just exaggerating for effect… but I just had to stand up for my hometown!
See, in the particular suburb I grew up in, people don’t really couple off like that. They just get bitches pregnant.
This is an awesome post!
I have two very distinctly different circles of friends: Married or antsy-to-be-married suburbanites, and city friends who are either dating or single. I’m finding I can’t be entirely comfortable around the former group anymore as I am drawn to the unpredictable city and due to my career, spend most of my time there. I get a lot of raised eyebrows when I go to ‘burb parties and tell them about my daily TO adventures. I spent 22 years of my life not fitting in the Falls neighborhood and that was enough.
I look at the ground when I walk to avoid stepping in things. Not everyone picks up after their dog.
Also I am in Burlington often so if you ever want to go for a drink, LMK
jen YES please.
chris that’s a more direct and apt way of putting it hahaha
angela i do not have access to these elusive rich burlington people but i know they exist here i’m just blanket generalizing the majority is all. i do love it here it’s grown on me like fungus.
bre- type A’s hit the city, are in abundance there, tend to be single cos they’re uptight therefore “city people stay single longer” yeah there’s flaws to my theories but the overall point is, there is a lot of shitty losers in the city how can we stop bumping into them?
sam http://drawingbad.blogspot.com (the posts that dont load just click on the date or title and they’ll load independently)
craig it’s a race. we must have the best. conditioning, and desire to bring trophies home to parents.
Lots to say here
Burlington surpassed Oakville in the ratings for being one for the best places to live. And you met some juicy well off women last night. There are alot of successful people here, Burlington is right next to Oakville for Godsake.
I don’t think finding the elusive soulmate has anything to do with where you live. Its about being at the right place, right time,chemistry,timing,etc.
Sadly though, even with all the best intentions, when it comes to relationship, many people have the attention span of a knat for it. They find faults with the relationship they are in then its onto the next flavour.
Many of the available ones have ADHD when it comes to relationships and keep one eye open for the next best thing.
The Internet has cause alot of this behaviour.
My 80 year old dad said he wouldn’t want to live in the mess our generation has created when it comes to relationship.
Maybe he has a point.
partying in burlington while living in bronte does not equal LIVING in burlington.
whoever said that maybe doesn’t know what asperger’s is? it has nothing to do with honesty. someone with asperger’s could also be a complete liar. it also has nothing to do with saying everything you think. some with asperger’s might do that, but others might not want to talk to other people at all. it’s an inability or lack of desire to interact socially, paired with some sort of routine or maybe several that the person cannot stop doing, and usually related issues with non-verbal communication too, such as body language. getting nervous and looking at the floor in a new situation is not the same as asperger’s.
that’s a pretty rude thing to say to someone who does not have asperger’s. and if they were putting emphasis on the “brutal” part of honest, i’d guess it was said as revenge for something you said that they didn’t like.