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mental turkey dinner post lets do this.

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when hipsters holidaaaaaaaaaaaay.

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shit gets rtrd’d’d”d’d’d’d!

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crescent rolls motherfuckers what’s that martha stewart?

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britt’s mom’s signature casserole. i was aghast at the components after shoveling a ton in to my mouth. miracle whip is NOT an ingredient. i said this tastes cheap, as in, delicious. gotta be velveeta something or other. once a year i guess is ok.

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OMFG SPICES INTENSE.

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patio nook. such a warm night we ate outside. i blew a super to that baby. just kidding.

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britt goes all out and all she asks for is your attendance. perfect hostess. what a loving selfless person. i am very thankful for her.

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that is not renita’s baby.

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i smell perfectionist.

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oh you know, just the sitting room. all inviting and warmly lit.

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and some vinyl. hohum. boyfriend’s dream.

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why yes, i did just wake up two hours before arrival.

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the flash is fidgety you have to hold a light source to trigger it sometimes if the battery isn’t cranked enough and so people look like idiots holding a candle.

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takin’ a break. brad was calling her lunatic all day and by night’s end she finally relaxed and went cuckoo fun times like the good old days. it was agreed upon by one and all that we are all insane and completely fine with that.

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round one, sorta not fully cooked. it’s ok i am an expert on salmonella poisoning i’ll take over. brad was relieved. go give’r guy this is woman’s work.

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gravy freak out. just keep drinking and adding flour everything’ll be ok.

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retro his ‘n hers towel interlude.

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duhhhhhhhhhhoyyyyyye.

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yo i got this.

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something important is afoot.

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this is a picture of capability.

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cutting everything that was cooked before poppin’er back in the oven, digging out the stuffing, and pouring out the drippings.

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woman work is overwhelming.

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back in there.

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these were delicious.

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plating.

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couldn’t find one of the racks britt neurotically tucked away so i just balanced the crescent pan right on top of the turkey (covered in tinfoil) because i am an animal and a problem solver.

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stuffing = crack.

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sadie is a great baby. she was liking me and my cleavage and dumb cooing noises.

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gravy jug.

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caught up in kitchen frenzy the two psychos finally sit to eat. half in the bag yet?

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such a fun dinner. jokes and hilarious stories.

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and a baby with cool parents.

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did you get enough dark meat renita? that’s when mental overload was in full swing, ok one person wants dark meat assembly line that turkey back into the fucking oven NOW and crank it.

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hot hipster mom.

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and the reeeeeeeeal party begins.

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wow yeah thanks for this one.

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a couple friends had dibs on this and i got tired of looking at it. i will make another one. britt has been eyeballing it since 2008 and makin’ comments. fine. she is good to me so i’ll get her back. also brought some cheese boutique goodies over as penance for being late.

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i smell a photoshoot.

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i am totally wearing a britt dress. it’s mine though just never wore it out. halfway through the night as i was fiddling with my ample bosom i see britt’s glazed over eyes and say yeah this is a britt dress and she goes yeah it IS a britt dress. got it from the same store i bought that other black lacey one the city wants.

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time to lose the prop and get down to business.

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lets make some magic happen here. some guy on fb is like Is this the prep room at a Montreal brothel?

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obviously it is because i have a corset-like top? guys are dumb.

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pahahahha.

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yes i am actually strumming a chord. one of three i know.

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get in here girl.

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holy i must be blasted look how loving i am that shit looks believable even.

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half her friends think she modeled blythe after herself. half my friends think it’s me and i’m that much of a narcissist. people see what they want to see.

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the girls started giggling at this point. the atmosphere got sexy.

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it only takes a subtle movement to seduce.

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that’s some von teese knowledge, gotta be.

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now britt see this is how it’s done.

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part two later just too many photos to deal with.