she can’t help it, the girl can’t help it

yesterday was a lovely day, wasn’t she. i love hot wind.

i look way too much like my dad in ray(fake)bans. that’s his look. being still in raybans is too dad, in-movement (biking) they look pretty good. not to brag or anything but i got cat-called by three different dudes at the exact same time while walking my bike below the dufferin bridge. it’s the hair and the no pants i think. speaking of hair, bangs are getting pretty long and when i do a self-cut i screw them up so i’ll have to see rose soon. or maybe hold off til i need a roots touch-up. think i wanna go lighter, go gaga. why not i came this far already. at the after hours friday nite in my bunny gear these mashed chicks told me i looked awesome and sooo lady gaga. great. how about i look like me? this paragraph is just one giant jerk off note to self. DEAR WORLD I AM GREAT THE END.

contracts aren’t legal til the exchange of money. thanks guy!

kinda accidentally on purpose mislead a few twerpers yesterday. a life rights option agreement is standard procedure. this now means my guy can start pitching, legally, it’s more pro. will keep you posted surely, albeit, vaguely.

yeah i don’t think these glasses are girly enough for me.

may have to copy casie‘s faux tat bruise cover idea. i’d need like twenty of them then. how did i even get this one? my left hip is sore from dancing in my room with melodie and i danced right into the teeniest space between my bed and side dresser, i think it’s on film too.

not so bad with bangs hanging over.

wore little shorts for the bike ride. wondering why i even bothered?

thought my chicken legs looked funny.

rooms are only 129, 169 for a double bed crash pad. kinda funny if i got one, hilariously lazy and too wasted to walk my stupid ass home. they throw in a toothbrush and coffee for the morning after. solid.

my new c-list celebrity status pal. lives right around the corner. longboards. has contacts i can mooch. i make him look good when we hang. PERFECT! meet rob spence. (i am not calling you eyeborg) his other persona mr. toronto is pretty good, helps him get away with bashing other provinces. i guess going as ‘raymi the minx’ lets me get away with shit too? despite all media mentions including lauren white in there, we all know it’s me so really it doesn’t change much. i prefer simply raymi, though.

illin’.

i complained about my eye/s (gushing tears from spring) so many times yesterday and finally rob said something like, YEAH, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. hahahaha ugh.

NEEDS MORE HIPSTER.

rob was recognized by a guy who works here. he had no idea who he was though. gave us an extra rum chocolate milkshake and some slaps on the back. the liquor store was closed which was plan b as cafe taste (that i still have to review) was closed. i wanted good wine and cheese. we noticed the beer store was open though after an ass-ton of people went by carrying 2-4s like boomboxes.

sometimes at shows i have to interrupt whomever is speaking to my known in the industry friend and inquire what band this person is in cos i can tell my friend hasn’t a clue so i do the whole interrupt and introduce myself thing so we all learn each other’s names. people just come up to you and clap you on the back shake your hand, they recognize you more than you them and you feel guilty about it. social taboo unavoidable faux-pas. i guess remembering names to faces is an important skill to have but you just can’t store them all. if you’ve worked with sooo many people or go around a lot, blah i dunno i just do a solid there to help everyone out because i “get” “it”. man i wish i could stop it with the air quotes sometimes, i do it in real life too it makes me feel like uncle joey from full house way too fucking much.

i was in love with a stressed out man on the patio, in love with his stress. he was discussing something to his girlfriend and ripping up pieces of paper from his wallet. rob had his back, dismissing all of my educated guestimations over what was being said out there. she was smoking, drinking a steamwhistle. they were older. seemed like a work grievance, someone pissed him off. she was passively listening, bored. wondered why she bothered listening, he seemed kind of annoying, too wound-up. wondered why i bothered listening to anyone, ever. love? being kind? in friend etiquette they say you have to sit facing the person who is talking, show them that you are a good listener with your body language, arms open, your body is saying i am open to what you are saying and i am receiving it. super gay huh where did i read this the babysitter’s club? eye contact is important too. put your smartphone away.

later on down the same street coming back from the beer store doubling on my bike a shirtless grifter called at us, “is it monday?” which i loved. “YES!” i yelled back in passing. that guy is me. last week on a monday i declared that it was a thursday. then on the sunday i thought it was a wednesday. something asinine like that. i exist on standard raymi time.

felt on luigi pretty bad.

late 50’s road king from eaton’s. bought it when i was 19 for $160 from bikes on harbord, whatever that place is called. never did go back for the complimentary refurbishing. i think it was a means to get me back in there, i think there was a mild flirtation with the shop guy who was pretty good looking, why didn’t i follow up on that? i was dating the spaniard at the time.

across the street from me here while i was waiting for rob to buy darts (quit already everyone, you smell gross!) three cruisers were making a big deal over some woman who clearly had some rough stuff going on in her scene. it’s unethical to say junky i think, as is crackhead. crack addict is the most-pc you can get with it but that’s also an unfair assumption and i couldn’t really gauge from across the street also, sorta didn’t care. just sharin’ my journey’s observations with you. i love parkdale.

now why would someone get rid of this or how could they possibly get sick of it?

discovery channel is all over this shit. wireless camera on the right. terminator red light on the left, for fun. i asked how people react to it. surprisingly very little. that’s city life for you. you could be on fire and everyone’d avert their gaze.

met up with abigail and jeremy at the beav and that’s when my eating tour really began. well, continued. period is in the hizzouse. here’s what i consumed yesterday not including all the booze:

beet/pear/blue cheese/pecan salad at the drake.

grilled calamari (that took FOREVER) at the rhino.

caesar salad, 2 onion rings, three rum chocolate ice cream shakes from stampede, we shared.

some indian donut hole, drenched in honey omfg i’m buying tons more.

wunderbar, dill chips – variety store.

chocolate cupcake with gobs of frosting and a double chocolate chip cookie – beaver.

and by this time i’m like nauseously stuffed but no, that’s not enough consuming. tried to go home from buying tampons and cheese nips and a diet redbull (for today) but abigail persisted so off to her place for a fucking platter of cheese and crackers and a cheese pizza and red wine.

in summation, i am a cow right now and i have dance rehearsal tonite. i guess i binge eat hey? i can not eat for like a day, just coffee and green tea, many of them and then a few days in a row i’ll rip it up foodwise. melodie says it’s cos i’m low on protein once you start giving yourself sugar your body wants more and more. i’m going back to granola. or starting.

jeremy is a really funny dude. they’re a great couple. his kerouac-gushing made abigail role her eyes infinity times, loved it. got a little heated over on the road vs. big sur for a bit there.

lookin’ tired and 27. the lighting doesn’t help much, or the photographer either. or the period. i will never run out of excuses. oh and the allergies too. natch.

amazing apartment, they’re so lucky. their cats are the best too, like, prehistorical-looking in size. massive gentle beasts. i look forward to hanging out with them again. oh and i guess ab and jer too, if they’re around.

then i went home. fat and crampy. cos i’m skinnier presently when i get bloated i look 5 months pregnant. it’s kinda cute in a way cos i have those brad pitt torso indentation lines from when he was in fight club. i look like pregnant fight club brad pitt. don’t be J-E-A-L-O-U-S!

oh here’s a few from the other nite.

melodie needs to be modeling again.

getting wasted on hash with a film maker is good times. just go with it.

hilariousish.

one of those zero-to-party evenings that come outta nowhere. actually, that’s like every nite lately what am i saying.

ok laundry time, have to prepare (clean) an outfit for my longboarding commercial audition tomorrow. longboarding is likely the only skill listed on my acting profile, it sure as shit isn’t acting. if it weren’t balls cold out right now i’d go practice for a bit. i will after burlesque rehearsal tonite maybe. hopefully. not like i forget how to longboard, you don’t forget, you just need to be loose. i have to go buy a hoodie for the audition too, i left mine at joey‘s month’s ago and that bird has flown. my chucks are there too, all shitty and sandy from paintball. i meant to buy a hoodie on the weekend but bought a plaid shirt instead. idiot. i’m supposed to wear cargo pants for this thing too but i told my agent i don’t own any cos only homos (suburban jocks) wear them. hope i get it cos it’ll be a sweet paycheck.

I MISS YOU ALREADY BYE!

non-important update: dance rehearsal has been rescheduled so now i can loaf around a little longer (all nite). I LOVE LAZY.

vid quality will get better shortly. next my city lives with raymi tour will be of my underwear drawer.