we like the newness, the newness of all

hi penises did you miss me? i missed you that’s why i made myself into a penis for you.

hello horseshoe. first time there since before all that change. like, beginning of summer. actually, can’t even place it. can you?

mike gets roped into taking a photo of these tacky young chicks.

duckface on the left got axed for being too wasters. i like that she is mugging for my camera instead of her friend’s.

mike had a bag of ziploc bags of icing that was making us all feel awkward for him so i turned that wrong into an opportunity. should i hold a how to get chicks seminar?

dude you were SO in there, what happened?

what where am i now. oh flickr you piece of shit. that necklace broke last friday nite at some point during the dance til dawn party. don’t know how. discovered it the next day. possibly fixable if i had a soldering gun hahaha.

belly is an adorable little place.

oh right, lost nite. look at that frosting, fuckin’ peanut butter! excited to see what carrie has been cooking up. hmm, want to make me a birthday cake? update: blythe doll cake!

WEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeird.

here i am saying AWKWAAAAAAAAAARD.

single white female!

alright alright here we go there happy done bye.

killin’ me here samurai.

look at this retard. yeah the sun was warm but the day was not. like, at all. i love seeing under-dressed too sooners and scoping their role in the whole be cool aloof don’t show how freezing you actually are in the face department. walk slow. hahahha saw another chick the other day in bare legs, looked so stupid but upon closer approach she was wearing nylons.

guess how much money is here. when brosz7 gets around to cashing this in at the supermarket he’ll tell me the amount, i’ll tell you the amount and if you guessed correctly, you will get nothing. i am very good at this by the way, not to be competitive or anything. i say at least 60 dollars.

i said that i liked this bagel because it’s soft, fresh. i don’t like chewing bagels forever. he said i have absolutely no authority or right to have any sort of opinion regarding bagels if i’m not jewish (he is) then i tuned him out completely/cut him off. i do not care for quality, style, character, whathaveyou, i was only commenting on my appreciation for its freshness and low-chew factor. what wait you don’t care what i have to say about bagels? he asks me. no, i don’t. i don’t care for anything that you have to say anymore in fact, because i don’t have to feign like i am at all interested in anything that you have to say anymore. he says, i like the new doesn’t give a shit about me raymi. me too.

then i was whisked away to dinner with another companion.

i got f’d over by the food i chose and the wine they paired it with. first it was moonshine (sherry) what lent a nice gasoline burn aftertaste. all i wanted was red wine. with my main i got a white. then for dessert, a dessert wine (which i hate). hahahahahaha. COOL TIMES FINE DINING.

and all my pictures came out blurry. cold calamari salad, very nice.

i had the chicken. the duck wasn’t fresh.

steak frites. we shared everything. oh man i feel like a house today and this was earlier in the week, i think? no it was last week. wow brain, way to impress.

banana cake. was smashed by this point and we were gabbin’ away so basically wasn’t feeling it so much. picked away at it.

huge brulee fan.

next day at shanghai ok i think i know why i’m not a skeletor anymore. sigh. this was not mine though i inhaled a few at lightning speed.

havarti jalapeno garlic grilled cheese mmmmmm BOOM.

five minutes later was time to eat AGAIN for our blog meeting.

why do i have autistic poses. why why whyyyy.

menus by louis vuitton! (not really)

and people say i’m narcissistic. pah. just sharing my sick ass style with you, puhlease.

some people think that seaweed salad (wakame? nigiri?) tastes like catfood. that’s what gill said and now i can’t stop thinking that or repeating it when it’s ordered and i ruin it for everyone. that’s all i ordered though and miso soup as i had literally just eaten at shanghai.

then we got baked and went to condom shack.

brand loyalty.

this girl i worked with when i was an online model had a real looking dong like this and cos of that she did beej shows on it. easier to get into it the more realistic it is i suppose in lieu of one of those glass floral printed gold sparkle ones, yeah?

can you buy me a thigh-numbing uncomfortable aesthetically pleasing expensive clockwork orange chair please? thanks. you’re so generous.

m pony love. i am so predictable.

these guys kinda freaked me out as a kid.

one day one of these bunnies will be mine. swoohn.

alice in wonderlandish which i cannot wait to see.

go noel!

i see you’ve been busy all winter.

that’s him in there somewhere too, or so he says. flare spread.

fuck yeah.

ok kideos thanks for tunin’ in it’s miller time.

just kidding i am never drinking (jager shots) again.

marriage counselors