make fun of it before it makes fun of you

AS IF i can’t pull off hip hop. way to discourage me from buying this hat mr. jealousy.

ok that was the lead-in, now lets go back in order.

i was trying to look tough. instead i just looked like five o’clock shadow.

why i feel obligated to document every stupid outfit i wear, i dunno. one illness piled on top of another. i feel that it is noteworthy or subconsciously warrants my obsessive feeling of needing MORE clothes.

oh sure, tan time. no biggie. went to my old joint. she remembered me, but thought it had been two years since i patronized their salon. i believe it was pre-summer, as once it was warm enough to tan outdoors i hit the breaks. i don’t know why but i felt somewhat smug by her error in passage of time judgment and now i feel like a fucking asshole for sharing this with you.

dinner at the roxton. beet salad goat cheese w/ arugula. five stars.

grilled (cold) calamari over couscous and very syrupy balsamic and some other flavours i have no recollection of.

i love that it feels like christmas in there all the time and that it also (fondly) reminds me of my old crew of friends that dumped my ass once i broke up with fil. i’m sentimental and stupid.

jerk duck over dumplings and spinach. wolfed through it in moments then realized there was absolutely no flavour of jerk to be found. did they forget or was it that bland? a little too chewy too.

lemon Crème brûlée and bailey’s style and one pretentious persimmon? i ate it whatever it was. sweet, subtle. could not distinguish the difference in flavour of either these two brûlées. normally my palate is very on, though, not when i’m famished and slightly buzzed.

good morning world.

stand back, i got this.

my grandmother tried to teach me how to play once. fruitlessly. i just can’t get the knack of reading music. i can’t knit either. it’s like my brain is all and now you want me to do what??? HUHHH!?? i taught myself how to snap though, so i snap backwards, it’s bizarre. i’ll make a video of it someday. you should see how i tie laces. ps. this is how i get guys/girls, prattle on and on and on til they are disarmed by how much of a giant idiot i am then i’m IN.

actually so so sunny, can’t tell from this viewpoint. if you missed out on today oh man, oh brother, oh. such a good one.

you can have crushes on inanimate objects right?

aaaaaaaaand cue wind machine. oh my god i have a joke fantasy now of walking on to some set and casually mentioning how a wind machine is just a glorified fan oh gross i can picture myself repeating this to 40 other people too. i am SO that guy.

i’m so lonely.

time for some spring hues, not harlot.

went for the veg burg. not bad. not mindblowing. the real deal was better. good thing i annihilate animals.

your guess is as good as mine.

hi can i have a condiment sandwich? thanks! no it’s good. has inspired me to finally order one of the veg burgs off the central’s menu.

someone here is either really funny or hugely annoying. warhol is tsk’ing in his grave.

oh hey chelsea. she was at the central saturday nite with a pile of socialist university students, haven’t even blogged that yet, so backlogged (busy, in high-demand girl i am) but here she is now, sunny days make you bump in to no less than five people you know. she’s my longboarding buddy.

we had a little debate in ethics saturday nite. i just typed it all out then deleted it cos i don’t think the fall-out would be worth it.

who isn’t stoked for this place? who will review it first, torontoist or blogto? i picture both in a relay race, violently clawing at each other’s faces in the doorway. here let me spare the effort now: disaffected clockwork orange-looking mod types sitting over pints, gingerly masking appreciation of surroundings, trying to out-underwhelm one another, wearing their finest of course.

see what it says above my head.

so fat right now. i don’t even know what it was we got. almond biscotti tasting not biscotti cookies.

can’t exactly casually eat one of these walking down the street can you? no dignity.

you could treat yourself to some serious fine-dining for the cost of this mental illness headgear, as gorgeous as it is. i have a modest red/black feathered headband piece and i feel like the world is laughing at me when i (never) wear it and then i get a headband headache. i will make a point to wear it friday nite. nice eyebag though, nice lighting.

now this, is nice.

i want a better quote.

i knew a guy who had a fiero once, tackiest could never let the 80’s go motherfucker ever but that’s another story for another time.

despite how much of a piece of shit i am coming across right now, i had a wonderful day and am quite content. i am. also, lost is on tonite.

this is what i have in mind to go around my blythe tattoo so people can stop hazarding the stupidest no effort whatsoever guesses. hey what is that a tattoo of, a dog, a mountain? is that a refrigerator duh duh duHHHHHH. hahaha can you tell i’m ready for stand-up yet or the funny farm? don’t answer that.

it’s not a day in the market unless you come out of there with new shades. good thing that airplane timed itself to be in this shot with me. BFF!

took turns bumping into our respective peoples across the hood. i know it’s not a competition (yes it is). anyway, before i had the chance to say patio, beer, or, lets, this guy did the solid and then the rest of the house of cards, oh she fell.

good call stranger.

i love spying. spectating. i know i say i love a lot of things and it’s like, oh whatever shut up simpleton, but it’s true. i love human behaviour. somehow you have to make up for all the things that you hate.

another good thing about voyeuring is when it’s of people you sort of know, recognize, are semi-famous in a specific circle. the more time you spend secretly watching them, the closer to bravery of approaching them you get like, of course they want to talk to me, i mean, it’s ME. word to the wise, don’t do it. you don’t remember their name and they certainly don’t remember you so save everyone the embarrassment and just stare holes into them. (you can totally approach me though cos if i don’t get enough attention it’s like i’ll die or something). the moral of all this is i saw some people i recognized across the street. THE END.

but now on the other hand, when one of these people is sitting down at your very own table and you went to school with them in england ten years ago and have even attempted making contact with them before in the past until giving up entirely because you couldn’t remember the spelling of their last name, by christ, you had better speak the fuck up, tap them on the shoulder, ask if their name is sarah, ask them if they still draw, sit down beside them and pose for a picture. hug them when you go. appreciate your good fortune. meeting someone on the other side of the world and not seeing them again for ten years in your own city, i think that’s quite special.

yeah i like my glasses. i wish i bought that hat though.

i never forget people who endear me. i have written about every single person i have ever met, or have a little story tucked away in my head for another day.

LOST TIME I’M LAAAATE BYE.