just a touch of sadness in his fingers

so, raymitheminx, thank you for answering a few questions for us today:

– we know the story behind the minx, but could you tell us again?

one day i realized i was a minx and i wanted to live my life as such. i wanted to man eat. i wrote a story about a girl like this i called her raymi and i became her. i guess i’ve been acting my entire life because a lot of my happiness and self worth has been largely deriven from men and in order to get that you have to minx them. have i enjoyed any of them. no, not really. maybe some of the time. i know everything is doomed from the start but i plunge anyway. raymi the minx is a brutally painfully honest tortured bullshit artist, bullshitting herself most of all.

- how much of your blog is in character rather than lauren white?

it’s all entirely me, how ever i’m feeling at the time i write, how stoned or how hung or how miserable i am. i’m no schizophrenic. the only time i characterize myself is when i’m trying to protect myself from things like feelings and trying to appear stronger than i actually am.

- you share a lot about your personal relationships on your blog, so what kind of person attracts you?

devastating losers, messes, unattainables. i just have to know someone is thinking about me, obsessing even, i like intensity. anyone can be beautiful and cute, that part’s easy. i guess i require straight-laced berts to my ernie to tame the monster that i am. i don’t think that will happen again for a very long time though.

- you often blog about abusing substances and your desire not to drink to excess, for example. why?

i don’t abuse substances. i indulge in them from time to time and only weed which is the wimpiest of the lot but why do i talk about it? i dunno, i don’t feel the need to hide it, people can relate, it can be funny. we all have our sadness crutches. my shrink asked why i smoke weed, i said it helps me write and it makes alone time fun time. it puts the world away and i like that it’s sort of a fuck you to everybody in a sense. i could go on all night about it but really it doesn’t need to be romanticized. i can function on it but one day i’d like to be completely straight just to see if i can handle life that way. i did it once before and it was probably the most depressing time of my life.

- you’re related to jack kerouac. what would you tell him if he were alive today?

i picked up right where you left off.

i check in from time to time and, while we spent very little time together a long time ago, i know you’re a good person. i really like thinking i had a peek behind your curtain.

so hang in there because i still look forward to being a toothless drunk in a dive at 10am when i see you on the tv and no one believes we ever met.

you hang in there too, buddy.

sorry for the vulgar tits. honestly i’m completely fine with my nudity, after awhile you don’t even notice i’m shirtless. i do not take intentional tit shots, they’re just real life candids, in the middle of changing, getting ready to go out etc. i’m not excusing, justifying or defending why i post them any more. are they art, am i art, art art art who cares it’s just a body. these pants i’m wearing that look super baggy were the tightest pants ever alicia gave to me and i had bulging love handles when i wore them, i could only wear them on skinny days and even then i’d want to bury my torso in some gypsy billowy shirt but now they’re bags. sad face.