lets tawlk
soooo since i’ve “been single” (it’s complicated)(and kind of no one’s business anymore) a lot of crazy has come my way. no doubt. specifically an old guy friend of mine (claims to not read my blog also i do not give a fuck anymore so why am i protecting him?) has been steadily badgering me and i have been steadily ignoring him. he wants to get together to tell me some bullshit about his life but his emails read like intends to kidnap and murder me, not kidding. one friend refuses to even read them anymore they are shockingly that bananas.
now i feel a teensy bit of obligation toward this guy cos i feel for him as he is a giant fucking loser, no offense guy. while i have also lost a boatload of respect for him as he has not done a solid thing to better his plight (depression, head issues, i dunno all of that and more). anyway i told him straight that i am no good friend to anybody these days, my life is a giant fucking mess how am i to give a shit about anyone else other than myself right now? it’s just not possible.
the guy is grappling with whether he should abandon me as a friend or not. while i was with phil this guy and i had little to no contact but now that it’s out raymi’s possibly on the market, in flocks the crazy. like why all of a sudden so demanding? i’m not an idiot.
this guy and i hung out a lot just prior and overlapping phil and i’s getting together, we had another friend too. all we did was longboard and drink and fuck around, it was fun. i miss those times because i was young and who knew how my life was going to turn out i didn’t care it was a sunny day perfect boarding weather yeah? so then of course these two dudes get crushes on me and it gets complicated, and messy. to someone who is depressed and lonely and more or less fine with the way their shitty life is sprinkle me on top of that and POW it changes. yes i am saying i am awesome. i am vibrant and zany and hot and totally extreme and should probably never be allowed to be near unstable men ever fucking again cos it always turns out the same. the problems and disasters of their lives magically wipe away for a little bit and then when they realise i am leaving i become the catalyst for all that wrong. it’s total bullshit. i saw it a mile away with these two guys. each had a girl who fucked them up prior to me that i got to hear all about and all i thought the entire time was wow you guys are giant losers get over it you’re 21 oh you tried to kill yourself too? brilliant.
i had a point when i started slamming on my keyboard but now i don’t know what it is anymore. i felt pretty sharey and i guess i’m going to start with more of that maybe. i am tired of censoring myself and putting up with everybody’s bullshit. i haven’t been this depressed since i was a teenager. i was so exhausted yesterday by it i couldn’t keep my eyes open passed 7 o’clock. this letter/reply is what partially inspired this blog vomit. i have more to say on it but just hit an exhaustion wall plus i have work to do so who cares what more i have to say.
For the record, that guy is NOT me. I don’t longboard.
or email in tongues
Good thigm you went to church to confess your sins, as i can tell by the photo. That IS a stoney carapace and big god-windoe, is it not? I rest my case.
union station
i have had similar experiences (though likely to a lesser degree and obviously i don’t have a high profile), but certain words of wisdom always come into my head, once uttered by mike jones.
“back then didn’t want me, now i’m hot hoes all up on me”
the “i’m not good for anybody” routine rarely makes head cases go away.
how about that is the nicest response i can think of or you’re going to get hahaha
if you saw these emails your head would turn around
forget the loser, you should go out with me instead!!
but first tell me: does this rag smell like cloroform?
Here’s wondering if your book is going to include elements of such, if it isn’t one outright. Holy Palpable Drama.
cheer up raymes… at least you look awesome.
yeah, i’ve been pretty down on and off since early dec. winter blues…or whatever…
i’m on the fence about crazy doc + meds. if the doc wants to give me some chill pills, awesome. no brain chemical balancers for me. no sir.
i can’t really discuss it. it is and isn’t but no it will not contain my real life drama circus whathaveyou though it will reference it if that helps?
blah. i never thought i could ever date someone who was actually crazier than me, but i did once and ended up having a similar experience with him. he tried to use his filing for bankruptcy to get me into bed after i’d stopped talking to him and he also tried to knock me up so i wouldn’t break things off with him. creeeeeeepy!
it is so worth blocking these guys from contacting you and NEVER responding to them just in case the crazy is real crazy and you find yourself dead or something.
Been reading your blog for a while but have never commented. I know how a small word of encouragement or positive remark can do a lot to help out an otherwise shitty situation, so, I just thought I’d let you know what an awesome, brave, strong girl you are. Keep on doing what makes you happy, and never mind anybody else.
leesus made a funny joke.
Since my divorce I have encountered whackadoos more than I thought. Do they watch from behind bushes then leap once we are away from our mates? One proposed to me a month after the divorce…uhh? now because of me he has “lost his humanity” and wishes death on any man I date. whoa.
…and yes I am am your drone, if asked nicely. Congrats…
you are too nice, it’s okay not to be!
alotttt of dudes are gunna be coming out of the woodwork, foxy minx.
yes, when a female is(kinda) “like one of the guys” or bonds well frienship-wise with males, it’s bound to happen.
girl+hot+cool= dude magnet
i know it can be rattling, but think about it, what men see in you is a dream girl!
I’m semi-recently overly obsessed with my appearance and wanting to be more beautiful (read: skinny!) and the fact that you are so beautiful but unhappy comforts me somehow. Is that totally fukt?
I’m not sure why, but maybe because it makes me feel that the beautiful are not “the other.”
Anyway, I wish you all the best. I say trust your gut instinct with the crazies and stay away….
the stuff you put up with on a daily basis.. jesus.
take care buddy hugssss.
Mike Jones!!!
I tried.
Dear Raymi,
Do you sometimes pretend you are Clementine and the guys you date are Joels?
I haven’t read your blog in over a year. Now I remember why I love it.
pee brain fuck no. that movie is big time overrated. and irritating.
I dunno. I dunno. This post reads just like the conversation Joel and Clementine have in the bookstore (when they are hiding in his brain). Sorry dude.
oh i wasn’t sure if you were making fun of me or not. no sorry necessary. trying to remember that scene/chat, can’t.
I like sharey.
Learn to get completely independent, enjoy it and do it well first. If you are successful at that you can look for a mature real guy; if you are very successful you could just buy one for the weekends too.
you do realise that i was talking about a friend here not a love conquest but yes i also tend to have loser hard-ons.
The last picture reminds me of a dream I had.
“the guy is grappling with whether he should abandon me as a friend or not.” If I may be cynical for a moment, I think if he were REALLY contemplating abandoning you as a friend, he would just pull the avoidance card; this is probably a guilt trip thing so you feel obligated to get together with him.
I hope the rest of your life situation improves and that it isn’t tough going for the next while. Best wishes.
wow, you are WAY too nice
i am. the update is he says he’s dying but also has guns and roses tickets.