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a liar won’t believe anyone else

unfortunately this photo does not properly capture the magic of my limbo.

errg i wish these were better quality, anyway, natural on the mic all i gotta say.

oops who put that there? itchy stitches i keep forgetting they’re there and go to town on my cyst scratching away then am all oh yeah, anyway, two weeks wait for results, i’m not worried so don’t worry, i just hope this thing doesn’t get infected from my own stupidity.

this beavis keychain is a relic he’s been around since i was 13, 14? i was cooler than you.

coug jungle party, went to sharkey’s with my dad and bro and man have they ever gotten a raw deal with that new location eh, serves ‘em right i say. their closing party many years ago turned fil and i away and fil yelled in the monkey bouncer’s face they would never get our business ever again then we marched back over the bridge to our regular pub, fil was fully steamed. who does that, yeah i know you can’t tell one customer from the next but still, many years patronage then a slap in the face like that fuck you and your exclusive douche party your new restaurant looks like the keg, same shit, same shitty waitresses all in black wearing more makeup than me, stepford wives in training and aging sausage trench coat party at the bar, b-o-r-i-n-g.

there was an annoying blabbermouth wino sitting behind us too and i wrote about that in the comment card that came with the bill, chill ok i gave the waitress a shining review.

i got busted with my camera out i wonder if that made the dermatologist paranoid like, why is some chick taking pictures of her cyst, legal purposes? jokes on you brah, it’s for my shitty blog.

omg go away nerds.

so kevin smith has been here for the last 4 days (?) circle-jerking with his fans to his movies, why?

we walked on the same side of the street once i took these so i could eyeball everyone, yes i am the rain who has come to your parade. sorry guys, clerks, NOT FUNNY. it’s a movie for dumb people to feel intellectual by. here i don’t have the patience right now to go tooling through my archives to find the ultimate reason why i do not like kevin smith, it’s like how the rest of the country hates toronto but doesn’t know why (geniuses) they just DO, akin to that except i have reasons on top of JUST DO. say i wrote a movie and then made every single character in that movie EXACTLY LIKE MY BIG FAT PRETENTIOUS MOUTHED SELF i could pretty much rely on every single kevin smith fan to love it.

moving on, i bought fil a new camera strap for his microwave no camera duh, finally, and i already blew the secret anyway it’s for valentine’s day. he needed a new one cos his other one has canon all over it and it looks nerdy. the kid who “helped” me at henry’s had the personality of a lobotomized teenager trolling myspace, my dad cracked some dad jokes and the kid was not for it. the cashier girl was super nice to me and said he never shows emotion i said well that must be really fun for you and maybe he should work on that. she gave me a student discount and complimented my jacket.

hey dudes how’s it goin’?

23 thoughts on “a liar won’t believe anyone else

  1. unfortch i think it’s that kevin smith humour is just way outdated. which i guess makes it bad humour since it doesn’t stand the test of time like say dumb & dumber.
    is the sharkey’s food still that same bland boring amateur overpriced garbage?

  2. i DID like clerks 2 only cos jay’s jock disgusting jokes saved it, the silent bob bit was and never will be funny it’s actually fantastically irritating.

    sharkey’s apps are half price between 5-8 or something, not bad, not amazing.

    jamie, she was bored out of her mind and young and appreciated my street cred i guess.

    binsk, he’s siiiiiingle…

  3. Awwwwwww you are so sweet that you would let me date your brother! That’s a BIG compliment. Although I think I am too old for him. Le sigh, as you would say. ;)

  4. I used to have that batman car- because I’m middle aged. It’s like, steel. And when you pressed a button and a metal blade thing popped out. There you go 70’s kid. Have fun with that.

  5. The guy who sold me 3 cameras over the past few months at Henry’s was at Lakeview by himself on Sunday night, wasted and kind of stumbly. And I’m sure he recognized me. I felt awkward and avoided looking at him.

  6. this was the oakville henry’s i went to and it was dead empty but the toronto henry’s man, those guys act like they are ON constantly what’s with the camera store bravado you are not a wizard and your stories aren’t unique OR interesting so stop orating you fucking twerp.

  7. Had stitches in my shattered elbow when i was seven. They were supposed to “dissolve” (how nasty is that!?), but the whole mess got infected instead and had to be yanked. Good luck with yours (and your diagnosis; i’m sure it will be fine). Um, i always really liked Clerks but then i saw some Kevin Smith “special” interview thing, and he was a total fucking egomaniac so i’m over him! But i still think Clerks is funny.
    Also: my boyfriend and i once sat right next to a young airhead wino couple at a restaurant and they would not fucking leave! They were done when we were seated, but sat there yammering for more than half an hour, ruining our lives (hah). We started saying really loud, passive aggressive things in our ghost voices: “Pay your biiillll…. pay it! Use a credit caaaard! Don’t have one? Pay in caaaaash! I’m sure this place accepts a personal cheeeeck… just pay the biiiillllll!! Get oooouuuuut!”
    Unfortunately, they didn’t hear word one. Good times!

  8. I want that Batmobile! I used to have one like that when I was a kid.I hope you didn’t upset your dermatologist too much by taking pictures of your cyst. As cysts go, yours is pretty cool ;-)

  9. I’m sure the cyst will be fine! Beware itchy shoulder scars, though — I had a “suspicious” (read: totally fine after all) mole removed in the same place, and 9 months later it is still kinda itchy and much redder than I thought it’d be. Bummer.

  10. I would have been one of those people you were giving the stank-eye too had I been in Toronto. I actually got to chill out with Mewes last week- funny guy.

  11. Also used to have that Batmobile, I think it was made by Corgi. That blade that flipped out of the front was awesome. I think there was a plastic flame jet in back that moved, also. Yeah.

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