i’ll love you like i love you then i’ll die

i wonder how many photos there are of me digging through my money purse for drink money probably like infinity.

so the legion eh, the burlington legion, interesting nite that was. have you ever been stared at by a lady, dr. evil style type lady folded arms ‘cross her chest at a legion hall in burlington? well i have. have you been stared at by three others just like her sitting down at their round table glowering at all the fun people infiltrating their precious hall (these rented out parties are necessary to keep their legion afloat cos they can’t afford it otherwise so stop scowling basically, we should be hugging) and then they get their one old man friend (seriously relax guy don’t have a heart attack please) to be the bearer of the no drinks on the dance floor news, honestly? how does one person holding a beer on the other side of the room burn you up so much? i felt like i was glimpsing into my future, gotta lay off the bitterness a tad or my face will look like that some day. i bet they liked it when we did the limbo or when tarley and i danced to peggy sue and during the guitar solo he picked me up in his arms and spun me around in one hundred circles, i bet they liked my underwear.

you can see the dr. evil lady in the background of this video by the pool table, after they were finished dancing she clapped, ok so you were experiencing joy whilst watching this line-dance routine but your body language was all wrong. so sad.

anyway, this other table of ladies were my favourite cos they had SERIOUS hairdos like saturday nite fuckin’ dos and they clapped ALL NITE LONG and line-danced and when things got slutty (me) on the dance floor they were into it. i have more opinions to share once they come back to me. oh yeah the bartender was a dick but i could tell he was just in character cos we broke him a few times. i didn’t wear any of my crazy dresses just my regular little AA number and i’m glad cos it got pretty sweaty.

oh and i helped on the mic during the raffle so it made me think that maybe i do have the balls to one day do stand-up and it’s not just the delusional talking here, i’m kind of a natural when it comes to addressing large groups of people i just let the neurotic take over sometimes and forget that.

the hired “dj” “performer” was 4 feet tall and barely knew any songs, had no lyric sheet and he was dressed like a pirate/magician i wonder how much he gets paid (dad call the legion!). the table of ladies i liked were his buddies. the manager/owner of the hall got right ripped and was awesome, you know old guy sleaze party down awesome. i’m pretty sure we made his nite.

pictures of this gong show to come speaking of there’s a huge navy bell at the door and if any drunk rings it you’re supposed to buy everyone drinks. i banged it twice to piss everyone off, the second time being on our way out then i ran off screaming BYE GUYS! and could hear everyone groaning and being scared by the crotchety biddies as i exploded out the doors safe into the nite. DON’T HAVE A BELL BY THE DOOR HELLO THINK PEOPLE!

is this real?