oh god please date me let me put my penis in your vagina i’m so lonely please yes?

it worked!

it’s all happening.

shit yeah.

dirt off the shoulders and so on.

meanwhile over in useless mooch town, joey is pretending to busy himself with a large box while uncle jesse talks to a monkey.

kid, if i had a crystal ball and it showed me you’d some day have a billionaire empire i’d shoot myself in the head right now.

action shot.

hasslin’ the d man over his lack of game.

blink shot haha. well actually you free-loading tapered pants wearing fuckbags, it was she whom hit on me.

yup, it’s true. suck on that.

no friggin’ way tan-man.

but oh no, what am i going to tell those life-ruining twats who live upstairs? of course the useless grown men have zero advice on that front.

selfish bitch lends some honey-selling advice to stephanie.

my christian lunatic actor brother blessed this honey.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmeth.

action shot with baby, why wasn’t she just left downstairs with her two other dads? how necessary is she for this upcoming scene?

dad, how much profit can i expect to rake in from selling this stupid shit once we factor in bee troupe fees, uniform, travel expenses etc etc?

check the evil look on dj’s face you know it’s comin’ what a cunt. stephanie looked at the cue cards a lot during this part.

girls i’m going on a date.

uh oh cue sad music.

yes i still love your dead mother but she’s dead DEAD FOREVER NEVER COMING BACK SHE’S DUST MAN GET OVER IT!

yeah but still for no reason whatsoever other than my own selfishness i do not want you dating stamped it no erasies.

ok i can’t argue that.

what is that thing on stephanie’s overalls?

i’m still pissed at you for even considering dating another woman.

steph, you are supposed to be pissed off too.

cue temper tantrum. fuck this episode blew.

selfish bitch.

saying something cheeky and everybody laughs zzzz.

still doesn’t get it.

blink shot!

the stupid little bitch is finally happy cos she’s gotten her way.

fine i’ll just masturbate to your tiffany poster til my dick chafes off.

dialing up the trim to call it off while in the background joey is preparing for some sort of break and entering heist.

hey jess what were you two just doing down there alone together for so long? did joey watch you change?

and because these two tards evidently have nothing going on in their own lives they gotta eavesdrop in on danny’s shit.

yeah, you’re not allowed to be sore with him cos you didn’t help him break the news to the girls you dicks.

lay of the bugar sugar (ew sorry haha), saget.

dude, you have to call her back.

joey does some dumb impression to get the point across.

everybody laughs and all is understood.

or is it???

phewf, it is!

OH GREAT!

dad, because you tolerated our selfishness we are going to let you take us out for ice cream. seriously, that’s what they proposed, how totally generous and thoughtful of them!

thanks girls that was probably the nicest thing that ever happened to me.

sorry trim, everyone in my life is all up in my biz at the moment cos i’m a spineless dickless wimp.

DANNY NO!

then the geniuses finally decide to pull their weight.

except, this uberly simple and straightforward task is somehow the most complicated project ever.

here’s some of last nite’s vegetarian compost dinner (allison is veg).

controlling succubus is about to have her comeuppance.

danny finally takes back his power and remembers he’s in charge.

uhhm, whoever styled this shot is a total pedophile. why is stephanie sitting like that?

yes seriously i STILL love your mom blah bla hb albaalalbhablah

for reals she’d want you to be happy and move on and not die alone celibate forever?

aw look at the monkey.

nice.

this episode would have been way better if stephanie had more wardrobe changes.

bahaha.

it’s so weird seeing danny’s room.

nite house shot, also weird. isn’t it passed everyone’s bed time?

holla someone’s finally goin’ on a date! then there was a sequence of outfit changes styled by each goony roommate, didn’t bother capturing the rest this was more than enough. ugh.

i’m not a total loser the inaug. is on in the bg. WHERE IS OPRAH?!

FULL HOUSE 4EVS!

+++

melissa is giving me this suit!