pssssssssst just a mini one

you know what i am positively RABID about? THE STUPIDITY I ENDURE EVERY TIME I LOAD POSTSECRET.COM THANKS TO NUGGETS SUCH AS THIS! have some more jonestown kool-aid you fucking lesbian NO ONE IS LOOKING AT YOUR RECYCLABLES in fact the only people who give a shit about what you have in your bin are homeless junkies looking for booze bottles to return for the deposit and teeny little asian women with shopping carts who make mint cos that’s all they do so. get. over. yourself. or build a tampon box fortress around your lonely barren uterus cos that’s what’s in store for you if you can’t get over natural body functions. do you hold in farts too?

fantastic and your family will never ever forget that and when you’re an old geezer they will not visit you on your death bed and you will have regrets and have one of those cliche moments when you tell your son i’m sorry i never told you i loved you and he will be emotionally unavailable to every woman he ever dates WAY TO GO DAD and as for your daughter well, she will eternally seek out older men (great visual for you when you’re working on that engine yeah?) and your wife is having emotional affairs on the internet. happy holidays.

did elisabeth hasselbeck send this one in? seriously, you are too stupid for words do you not get the rules? equality = good, non-equality = bad ok wait let me just quote your postcard, how convenient: PRO-HOMOSEXUALS ARE WONDERFUL, TOLERANT HUMAN BEINGS why thank you for the compliment so nice of you and ANTI-HOMOSEXUALS ARE EVIL AND IGNORANT. it’s not that everyone “thinks” this sorry, we know it. FACT. and we are tolerant of YOU so follow suit cos you’re a dying breed.

ugh how annoying is that thing you drew beneath the word don’t? that was my signature cool detail from grade 4 i reserved for title pages on shitty stories i wrote. anyway, yes what you said is par for the course, insecure chicks only feel good about themselves when someone more lecherous than them is in the room be it male or female and when a hot babe strolls on in it’s all daggers and scorn and judgment, at least you admitted to it albeit anonymously on a postcard, wimpy hag. guess what, the feeling’s mutual across the board, change or prep yourself for a solitary life where EVERYONE talks shit about you behind your back cos they cannot stand your smarmy bullshit. something also tells me you aren’t very attractive and that’s likely not your fault but you know what? it’s also no one else’s so stop taking it out on other people.

guess how loudly i just sighed do i even need to write something about this one? no? k good moving on.

check-outage? thanks 15 year old obsessed with the movie JUNO, thanks? i meant fuck off, get some life experience and jadedness then come back and write something meaningful.

the word MY kinda frightens me, you sound like a psycho, your minimalist sentence and the picture you chose, ugh tingles down my spine single white female much? FOCUS ON YOURSELF FATAL ATTRACTION!

ahem, how about being nice for the sake of being nice? how about being a hero for once and sticking up for people and not following the crowd? how about the guilt you will inevitably feel in the future if you’re currently self-aware enough to make a difference now? i wish i could go back in time and let people like you really have it in high school but i’m happy your fear tortures you at least. let me guess, you also believe in jesus JUST IN CASE. pansy.

oh shut up you arrogant pompous ass. so if you adopt a kid you’re not giving it your last name? yeah yeah coming out is tough bla blah wah wah just do it and spare me your harvard posing bullshit.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA my favourite. also, makes me sad cos men are so stubborn and stupidly proud when it comes to doctors and their health meanwhile everyone around them suffers for it. one reason feminists are better than you.

at the risk of offending every single person on facebook which i think is a HUGE factor in this race to wed phenom, um well, yeah. there are those who wed for the right reasons and then there is everyone else, like, every stupid person from your elementary school + facebook = wedding and why? facebook has granted these girls the spotlight they have always wanted and to stick it to the rest of us (who didn’t even care to begin with). i could beat this dead horse forever but i am already bored of this shit. here i will admit that i would like to be married one day and i do not want to be an “old bride” and that’s just silly, why do i not want to be an “old bride” oh BECAUSE OF FACEBOOK OF COURSE! i just want to be engaged really, for like ever, and that’s that. TICK TOCK FIL, TICK TOCK.

firstly, it’s “my boyfriend and i” and secondly did you know that dogs are kind of um, dumb? an old friend of mine said she had to close her dog out of the bedroom when she had sex because the dog thought she was being attacked, seriously, that’s what it looks like to a dog, they do not have the capacity to understand human nudity all it is to them is an activity (ex: the removal of clothing), you are doing something new AND they watch it SO DON’T FLATTER YOURSELF. ps. it’s a dog A DOG you fucking idiot! do you feel flattered by this?! AHHAHA. here look what i found on the internet for you:

BYE!

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*REMINDER* FIL‘S BIRTHDAY PARTY IS TONITE AT HARMONY LOUNGE AND YES IT’S A BLIZZARD JUST LIKE LAST YEAR SIGH SIGH OH WELL WE HAVE THE WHOLE PLACE AND THIS DJ IS GOOD AND IT’S FREE TO GET IN DOORS ARE AT 8PM WE SHOULD BE THERE FOR 9 OR SO 589 COLLEGE STREET BASICALLY BESIDE STRANGELOVE. COME CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF THE GUY YOU TOLERATE ME FOR! dinner plans are scrapped so it’s just drinks, simple dimple!