so THIS is a funny story
funny in a way that it is so NOT a funny story actually, for this guy, but it has a happy ending at least THANK THE FUCK THAT SHIT COMES FROM!
so basically for the past month i’ve been thinking i have JAUNDICE. i know right. at my last physical it came up in my pee test, i was also on my period (when am i not?) and was out late drinking late the nite before so my doctor wasn’t concerned, my eyes aren’t/weren’t yellow nor skin (seriously JAUNDICE ARE YOU KIDDING ME!) so she did not send me straight to a hospital, she did blood work and said she would not call me if it came back fine and dandy. so she didn’t call me for a month, but did that make me NOT think about my jaundiced liver for the past month? AH-FUCK no on that. do you know how many times i have stared at my eyeballs in the mirror over the past month and festered on this rich piece of juicy information from you dweebs? i did not tell my mom because she already nags me enough, i did not tell my dad (hi dad) for obvs reasons, or brother cos he would immediately tell my parents duh and i didn’t tell you cos holy crap, blog jokes forever right.
anyway, i went in today to find out my results and guess what? PERFECTO PREP. even my b12 is normal and that never ever happens. so how the hell did being halfway through my period and sucking back vodka sodas til 1am make jaundice appear in my urine?
oh who cares, i don’t have it so now it’s miller time.
ps. DO NOT wikipedia jaundice if your doctor says you might have it because you will then decide that you have every letter of the hepatitis alphabet too. every tiny pain in my stomach for the past month oh you better believe it was the JAUNDICE MONSTER and oh what fun its been.
yeah, its a good thing you dont have jaundice..my mom has it (she has Hep A and C :S) and it sucks…
but anyway, nice blythe tat (omg you totally threw me off i thought you’d never get a tat!) and is that a little nip i see in the first pic of you and your mom? was it cold in that bathroom haha
yes that would appear to be a party hat showin, good eye.
I am happy that you are happy. I’m yellow omg I have jaundice too!
phew x a mil
It’s not often I get to say “Hey! glad you don’t have jaundice!” If I had to get an obscure/rarely mentioned disease it would scurvy. I could call in sick to work because “Ack, it’s the scurvy. Really bad today.”
I had jaundice when I was born. It made for some really cute baby pics. I’m glad you don’t have it, and I’m also scared that someone managed to find your nipple in the first picture.
well geez girl you can sure scare somebody, you had me there for a sec as i was reading along the lines. but is awesome everything came out cool.
i had jaundice when i was born & i didn’t even drink a lot. true story.
babies afflicted with jaundice is normal, wikipedia told me so. though, i am so not a baby so the last month licked.
Lots of babies are jaundiced when they are first born – it usually corrects itself.
Glad you’re not jaundiced. Having a working liver is always a good thing.