how i got skinny

someone really wants me to do this post so i’m doing it for what seems like the millionth time, anyway, there were two “things” i did, two phases of the raymi diet, the first one was totally unhealthy and ridiculous and you were all NO NO NOT going to work, and it WORKED, i lost 20lbs. the second phase you all would not shut up about either, like i was even asking for your input, all i said was i am going to lose more weight and THIS is how i am going to do it, then i did it, and it worked. voila. i can’t find the post where i said this is my new diet, anyway, basically it consisted of eating, not starving myself, lots of meats and greens and yogurt, NO CARBS which equals no rice or pasta or bread, NO STARCH, NO BEER etc etc. so i rode that wave for awhile NO JUNK FOOD NO CHIPS NO GREASE it’s not rocket science, substitute egg whites for eggs w/ yolk. um. drink less. inevitably you will navigate off your diet and say fuck it once in awhile and put your face in a slice of pizza, and that’s ok, in the beginning when you shut off the intake of carbs you feel demented for a good three weeks, your head hurts and you feel really dumb. WORTH IT! you get used to it and then it goes away, that demented feeling. (though i pretty much feel demented all the time anyway so no bigz)

i’m now at a point where i dunno, i think my metabolism has come back with avengeance, it’s been two years sans anti-depressants now, so if you’re on anything, i think after awhile no matter what it is impossible to lose weight on medication, and NO i am NOT telling you to go off your pills, just saying i decided i would rather be sad and skinny instead of sad and fat. they weren’t working for me anymore, AND i was drinking all the time on them and as it turns out zoloft gives one an insatiable urge and desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol, awesome, as in NOT awesome.

if i just stopped drinking i would be a rake and y’all would be like stop starving yourself, it would get really annoying, or you’d think i was doing blow.

so here’s what you do to lose weight or to stay slim, eat HEALTHY, eat BORING, once in awhile you have to take one for the team and just DEAL by not stuffing your face with croutons, pretend there is always a pool party on the weekend and wearing a t-shirt over your suit is out of the question. drink vodka/gin sodas with lime/lemon, cut down on wine intake, and sugar, skim milk in your coffee, eat yogurt, eat some cold cuts everytime you walk into the kitchen, walk everywhere, take the stairs, do sit-ups, buy smaller clothing. lots of protein and sashimi!

there’s also this crazy diet where you cut out meat and dairy and fat and lose a bunch of weight in seven days i do not have the willpower for that, here read this. good luck with that. and this is the low carbs list thing.

BOOKMARK THIS POST I DON’T WANT TO BLOG ABOUT THIS EVER AGAIN.