people who smoke on their lunch breaks at work, or anyone really who smokes out in public in the day where i can see them, look ridiculous and stupid and make me feel really dirty. i’ve always felt this way. like have some decency and go hide in a back alleyway or something you look disgusting and embarrassing especially all hunched over in the cold in nothing but your white work shirt, yeah your life sucks you hate your job, don’t bring me down about it too buddy.

it makes me physically cringe because all i can think about is how this person fantasized about sneaking away from their desk for thirty minutes prior to exploding out the door, full-blown obsessed over the thought, and even gathered a few others to make it into a big activity and so there they all stand on the pavement with sour looks on their faces cos they are never satisfied and never will be and this cigarette they spent all morning dreaming about is halfway done and they have to collect themselves and go back upstairs to reading my blog and leaving me fat comments telling me to get a real job like them, i dunno, what’s worse is the lone smokers who cross their arms over their chests and stare into the middle-nothing distance and one arm is bent up in the air like so and they look like they are trying to just disappear into the ground or just be vaporised, just take me now god. those guys kill me the most.

maybe i consider things too much, i just know that during the day smoking makes you feel like that’s what you’re going to be doing every day for the rest of your life and then you get a head rush and feel nappy.

and then there are the smokers who are purely bitter because they started smoking cos they thought it would make them cool, and it didn’t, and now they’re stuck with this habit. the only people who look cool when they smoke are the people who were cool to begin with and smoking is just an extension of that and the others are just dumb enough to fall into it and say i want me some of that, yeah.

another irritating thing is the division of smokers and non-smokers, from the perspective of the smoker, i’ll talk about it later.

i will be 25 at the end of march, i feel really old, because of chicks like elizabeth who name-drop being young every two minutes i have developed a complex about it. sigh.

oh one of the barenaked ladies emailed me at least and invited me out to karaoke last nite but i didn’t check my email cos i am a www junky and have to force myself little breaks here and there, so turns out when i met him at the ‘shoe for the 60th anniversary party when i thought wendi blew it for us, she didn’t. success!