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layin’ down a mean ass hickey.

after losing yet another arm wrestling match.

hankypanky party!

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ugh i just trudged through the slush snow slush raining slush soppy streets to get us chicken shawarmas and cokes and myself a coffee, there is no food here at all, and anyway i am like mega hung as usual so i’m walking through all this shit and i take the short-cut to bloor/spadina which actually isn’t a short-cut cos i’m climbing piles of the awesomest packing snow ever and taking weird routes some genius stamped out in the snow in these short-cuts like bro it isn’t a short-cut unless the path is diagonal not a whirly-bird goose chase all through a parking lot and obstacle course mountains were you on meth when you made these snow paths? anyway. so i haven’t had anything other than water and i feel like my brain is sitting in a chair in my head totally useless and i’m thinking how romantic my plight is and i wish i had a dictaphone to take advantage of the booze fumes of last nite brilliance going on while i’m jumping hurdles of slush and getting rained on while fil is in bed in his underwear with his laptop probably reading about the nerdiest shit ever on wikipedia, i didn’t even bother to bring an umbrella cos i figured carrying an umbrella and shawarmas and a coffee is too much in my state with mittens too oh fil just sent me this it is a REAL COMMERCIAL and pretty much sums up what is happening in my brain right now ok where was i oh right my sunglasses have raindrops all over them and i am feeling the opposite of whimsical so i get to pita q and there is a line no biggie but i’m feeling desperate for a coke but i wait it out and then three chicks ahead of me get their to-go and get the hell out of there but one lady is like can i just get mine now? meanwhile it’s still in the grill press i’m thinking holy shut up you waspy crab and then this other woman ahead of me is being extremely bossy to the dude saying what she wants on her shawarma one thing at a time as slow as possible like why don’t you just say you want everything like a normal person and THEN eliminate what you don’t want? ok so then another guy takes over her shawarma and she goes I DIDN’T SAY I WANTED TAHINI SAUCE! and then everything shuts down dude is like what? and she says I DIDN’T SAY I WANTED TA-HEEE-NEEE on it like he is a retard totally talking down to him and i’m laying massive stink-eye on her as much as i can just praying for her to look at me and i am shaking my head too i was THIS CLOSE to saying you are really rude you know that so they had to start a shawarma for her all over again and by now 5 people are behind me i was going to say i’ll just take hers but because of my delicate state i couldn’t figure out what the hell tahini sauce was and do i normally get it, it’s tahini as well as garlic sauce right or are they the same thing? anyway her fucking annex schoolteacher vibe confused me and really pissed me off so i couldn’t be the big hero and save the day for the pita dudes like i wished i coulda and on top of it she even ate it there they were kinda like for here? are you serious? i could read it on their face that’s what they were thinking like get the hell out of here you bitch. the entire point of this place and a shawarma is you get everything on it, you say you want everything on it and then you say EXCEPT such and such, you don’t hold up the assembly-line and fuck it all up by pointing out to the lettuce and tomato and onions, you don’t tell these people WHO BROUGHT THE SHAWARMA TO THE FUCKING ANNEX HOW TO RUN THEIR OWN BUSINESS AND SCOLD THEM.

so i didn’t say anything cos i said to myself ok raymi you are just wicked hung you do not need to pick a fight with every single moron you encounter all the time and you are probably even over-reacting a little about this too.

like lady you didn’t NOT ask for tahini sauce ok!

she was extremely skinny and had really weird posture and i suspect on some sort of medication for being a total witch her entire life, probably ativan.



oh right i gave jen a hickey last nite cos all the lesbots were doing it to each other so we said fine we can do better and i think we won.

hmm maybe not, here’s olga’s (not done by me):

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way to go retard! she’s already totally denying it too. haha nice try. ps. can you do a tattoo for me on your show?

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