scowling cos no matter how many times i clean the mirror it is always dirty.

here is something i wrote when i was in highschool about a guy who was in a few of my classes throughout my highschool tenure, i wrote this a month before graduating. it’s more or less all true. he is on my facebook.

2001 lauren white.

“it’s because we have nothing in common. i’m sorry, you’re just not interesting enough for me. that’s the way it is.”

it’s wednesday, 10:49am – he’s followed her from the upstairs hallway, passed rooms 201, 203, 207… 214 – down the stairs, through the business department to the history dept. and now he’s circling her like a moth in the tech. hallway.

he is always there.

he is socially retarded, brilliant at saying random, inappropriate and ill-thought statements – inept at reading body language. he mutters to himself whilst walking alone through the crowd. he is always alone. he has quite possibly the ugliest face you would ever lay eyes upon. he is emotionally scarred due to this. kids are so honestly harsh.

she lets him walk uptown with her friends because they get a kick out of his weirdness.

he is not used to being around people so he acts in a manner all his own. he is scratching his head and smiling to himself over dirty thoughts.

he told her a goat was slaughtered in his honour of his 17th birthday and he’s noticed he talks to himself a lot less now.

he has convinced himself he is gay – she thinks he is vulnerable and desperate of anyone’s affection or touch.

they stand in a circle eating slices with their backs out and he is not confident enough to penetrate so he wanders off, not too far, talking to himself and pacing in circles.

he’ll probably be a virgin for the rest of his life.

he is 5’3, maybe. hairy all over, and tucks his sweaters into his tight jeans.

he worries about school and homework and getting good grades. that is all he has. he is very bright, but his intelligence has deteriorated because he lacks common sense.

he is a textbook from 1987.

he thinks short-term.

he is so painfully ugly.

he is flawed all over and she has lost patience with being nice to him. she has had enough of his constant mumbling and following her from class to class and attempts of prying into her life.

he is suicide waiting to happen. yes. he’s one of those – though, he hasn’t the will to go through with it.

they both sit at the extreme opposite end of the spectrum.

—–

well, he’s still alive, so that’s good.