merkley???: i dreamed i went to toronto and you were very rude and your friends were all jocks and you made me go to a football game and the field was half asphalt and half weeds and basically everything sucked
me: I FUCKING HATE FOOTBALL what a shitty and inaccurate dream
merkley???: well i was quite surprised by it all
me: what was i wearing
merkley???: something red and kinda tight — not good fashion — like i said, it wasnt what i expected i was pretty shocked at your terrible hosting skills i was with someone else and i kept apologizing to them for bringing them because i promised that it would be a great time and they would think you were great
me: i am a very good host actually, like bend over backwards nauseatingly over-courteous
merkley???: but you kept making fun of her for being “american”
me: ha what a dick
did i have good burns?
merkley???: your jock friends were actually getting in my face trying to start a fight
no
the whole time i was thinking — wow — how does someone have such a different online persona
samir was a total dick
me: the only time i am a shitty host is when i ignore everyone while they are over and read my comments
ha even samir was in your dream
what was fil like
merkley???: fil was standoffish he wasnt blatantly a dick it was more you siding with all your jock friends and not letting go of the snide “american” comments
me: well i dont have jock friends i dont know anyone who plays sports actually
merkley???: plus you kept insulting my friend
ha ha
me: what was i saying i bet your friend sucked and deserved it when you werent looking she was being rude to me hence the suck
merkley???: it was obviously opposite day in my dreams my friend was totally fictional –
me: what do you think this dream means
you are apprehensive about meeting me and coming to toronto cos you are a scaredy cat penis
merkley???: sunday night i went to a party where the hosts were really bad
me: well thanks for taking it out on me in your dream
merkley???: i mightve checked my rss and read a snip from your blog last night and combined it all toronto was a total shithole ghetto weeds everywhere cracked pavement milkweeds that get white goo all over everything
me: nope sorry
merkley???: it might take me a week or two to forgive you i’m scarred
me: when fil cheats on me in my dream or me on him in his, when we wake up we hate each other he gets in trouble for being bad in my dream and i resent him all day
merkley???: ha ha yeah well i am resenting you right now
me: the other day he said bla bla should know better when WE are on our period
merkley???: you need to apologize for your bad behavior and your lame jock friends
me: im sorry i hung out with jocks and was mean to you in your dream and made fun of america via your mythical friend, merkley and i wore a shitty red tight outfit
merkley???: when i woke up i couldnt remember my dream — it was only when i saw your name that i remembered that i was pissed
me: HAHAHHAA wow you are really affected
merkley???: anyway, that was only my second raymi dream, in the first you wore that meat dress
me: i wonder what my stalkers feel after they dream about me and it is awesome
oh right i dreamt about you once rght i forget i musta told you
merkley???: yeah
i was awesome and tan
me: oh
anything else
merkley???: i only remember being tan and thin and i had my shirt off or something
me: well thats pretty much all i ever aspire to be so good work
ha that did not happen
merkley???: basically i was the cover of a romance novel
me: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
my dads cat looks like you
rockley
hahahahahahahhahahaha
merkley???: not even close
me: sorry man hair to face ratio is dead on
merkley???: plus you were wearing a weird bra that made your boobs look like a mans chest i was gonna say something to get you back but i decided to take the high road
me: is our friendship over
merkley???: i think you wore it to fit in with your jock friends you might have actually been a dyke in my dream ha ha
me: typical
