me: did u call alex

Phil: no
i got a speeding ticket instead

me: OMG
well finally
where
how fast were u going
did you learn your lesson

Phil: on lakeshore and the funny part is i was only going 76 in a 60 which most cops would never stop you for but this guy had his little trap set up and obvs was trying for quantity over quality
anyway
i will fight it in court

me: did you give attitude

Phil: no
not at all

me: whats to fight you sped

Phil: fastest ticket i ever got

me: how much is ticket for

Phil: oh i will ask for a trial and then in the trial i will ask the prosecutor to provide me with a copy of the cop’s notes and for the maintenance records for the radar gun and then an adjournment so i can study the material

me: OMG

Phil: and then hopefully it will just get too complicated and the cop will give up

me: they will just blow you off
there is no way that will work

Phil: no they can’t
by law
they have to do all of those things

me: i would be so annoyed by you i would just send you to jail
and then what are you going to talk about a rogue helicopter too?

Phil: fortch that’s not how the law works judge raymi
no that would be silly

me: thats you
have fun with that

Phil: ya thanks ive seen that million times

me: well obvs you have cos you are basing your upcoming speeding ticket trial on it

Phil: the prosecution has to share its evidence with you
it’s the law the cop’s notes yes
the maintenance records yes

me: yeah i know that i think it’s just funny to ask for maintenance records of a speed gun do you want to see the records of my blowdryer too?

Phil: it’s actually a common thing for getting out of tickets

me: alright alright
it just sounds funny
and we all know i love to laugh!

Phil: ha

me: “an adjournment so i can study the material” ahahahah like you REEEEALLY have to think hard about the perfectly maintained gun

Phil: and the cop’s notes
it has to be calibrated on a regular basis if not it can give you a false reading too

me: yeah im sure it gave a false reading fil

Phil: you know my dick?
suck it

me: HAHAHHAHAHAHA
i thought you were going to tell me there is a rash on it

Phil: omg

me: how much was ticket for

Phil: $55

me: are you mean fil today? (wearing glasses, not contacts)

Phil: yes

me: good thing
all that shit for 55? just PAY IT

Phil: no way
insurance

me: fine