oh how i love wife swap. notice how there isn’t a husband swap? cos if some strange dude came into your home all judging your family and parenting skills the lady would be all NUH UH and pound his ass. it would be funny to see, duder all nervous chin quivering, hovering in the background like a ghost, about to say something, opening his mouth and closing it like a fish and wife is all WHAT WAS THAT? THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT slamming dinner plates down on the kitchen table.

last nite’s show was a goodie in that every single person was infuriating as hell, the one dad was a computer role playing game addict and his social skills were disgusting, couldn’t get one word right and barking out orders from his computer BRING ME KETCHUP and the wife waits on him hand and foot, the son too and ENJOYS IT. fil said he would show up with an assault rifle. we are going to be awesome parents.

borderline retarded, high-strung, and insane. what do you mean you can’t wear make-up to kindergarden teacher says that? ahah.

i like how wife swap always has a family that is extremely lazy, sloppy, fat, bad diets paired with a psycho neat freak perfectionist family and the wife that goes to the dirty house breaks down crying about how dirty everything is.

i think my favourite episode was the raw foodist family that stored raw meat in jars for months and called it high meat and when the rule-change happened (when the new wife tells them things a be a changing ’round these parts) the son blew his top but couldn’t express himself properly because he is home-schooled, has zero friends and his parents are yokels, anyway he went into the kitchen to shotgun an egg and the dad said that “the raw egg will calm him down” and then they go out to eat restaurant food and it makes them sick and the dad has a crying breakdown in the bathroom cos he cannot bear to see his kids in pain what the fuck grow some balls you inbred fuck.

yeah there are always home-schooled kids on wife swap that’s pretty awesome cos then the new wife makes the kids go to regular school for a week and it never lasts more than a day cos the kids have no social skills whatsoever and they are behind their grade level, and the kids bawl their eyes out about having to go back, sad.

in a perfect world all parents would be amazing teachers but this is not the case, there are obvs. some slacker moms out there and i’m sure a shit-ton of biased info being taught to their home-schooled kids.

i love talking about wife swap.

this classic clip makes me so sad, the cuckoo christian mother’s eldest daughter is exactly like the mother and bosses around the two other daughters who are skinny and perky. i think they brought the mom out for another show she is such good tv.

that poor family.