i am the best singer in all of the lands

way to get those lyrics straight

so we went to smokeless joe’s to hang with fil’s sister and her boyfriend, he didn’t drink as much as the usual when we all hang cos he fell on his head or something and was kinda fucked up i got kinda loaded and told super ridiculous not-funny long stories then we went to aimoo‘s picture show at gorilla monsoon where she introduced me to three of her brothers as we were leaving and i said WHAT ARE YOU MEXICAN? she said maybe. here’s a quick funny story about gorilla monsoon before i move on to the other funny shit from last nite. the last and first time i ever visitted gorilla monsoon i got kicked out and banned, i was 19, i met up with my friend who was the only dude in the place drinking tea in the very back at this tiny ass oppressive table so i’m like uh lets move to the front booth, more room, more fun but NO, little old guy behind the bar is all NO WAY can’t move tables sorry and then i lip him off saying oh yeah why not cos of the massive rush that’s about to show up here? and guy flips his lid says get the fuck out and never come back i said FINE FUCK YOU something like that and WAY TO TREAT YOUR CUSTOMERS. my friend was pretty pissed off, he was like all i wanted was to drink my tea. i think he was pretty hungover and kind of a mess then i come in and totally fuck it up for him. you know when you’re suicidally hung and shaky? he was like that.

coolest mom/son ever, local drunk guy, left, would NOT go away.

ok so fil and i went to the horseshoe and squished our way to the bar and were beside this totally cool mom/son duo from buffalo and this lecherous drunken idiot local was hanging off the mom and so we get to talking and all that meanwhile this dick is leering at the mom and his eyes are looking in opposite directions and i keep telling the son what the fuck can i intervene please? dude is trying to take them out to a late dinner i’m oh pleasing left and right cos it’s clear this guy NEEDS to eat, mom/son are playing it nice but the mom knee’d son secretly as a signal so i jump in and engage the mom for a 15 minute chat, loud yelling laughing banter and drunk guy is barely able to even lean against the bar without staggering and he keeps trying to get her attention by swiping at her shoulder and missed every single time so FINALLY he gets his arms around her and is all slurring into her ear about treating her to dinner so i take this opportunity to scream at him DUDE IT’S NOT FUCKING HAPPENING, LEAVE!

he did not even hear me that’s how liquored he was.

i am tips myself but at least i am not asking a mother and son to go to a late dinner with me at 1 in the morning a thousand times.

that is some serious leering.

eventually he got the point, mom/son were not going to eat, the second he left they both said ok we are going to go eat now. haha.