me: i have a hankering for avacado, homemade guac, im gonna go get some

Phil: i am reading about guinness and now i have a hankering for that

me: hopefully they will be ripe
omg
LET IT GO

Phil: look

me: im sorry you dont have a gf who is into cauldron beer and yes in theory it looks delicious, but it does not taste delicious – the same with baked beans, look great, taste, not so much

Phil: oh yes it does, but to each their own

me: only crotchety old farts are into guinness and people who are stupid and want to be crotchety farts, it is basically the drink of nerds

Phil: you are being amazingly close-minded

me: im taking the piss

Phil: oh ok i find it super refreshing and tasty

me: i do not like beer to taste like it was filtered through soil i do not like to taste the forest, beer should taste like beer not rocks and dirt and leaves and twigs

Phil: i dont get that but you think any beer with flavour tastes like that

me: no i have had raspberry beer and it tasted like raspberries and *SHOCK* beer
NOT coffee

Phil: any more flavour than keith’s and you can’t take it (unless it is a girl flavour like raspberry)

me: not true i can deal with blond and it usually tastes like piss

Phil: another tame beer

me: and armpits stella has a skunky aftertaste i can deal

Phil: you might as well move to the states and drink pbr

me: i can even deal with that beer that is kind of like guinness, john smith

Phil: or milwaukee’s best

me: on a hot summer’s day i think patio and i think nice yellowy frosty beer NOT black death middle earth wearing a wool knit sweater by a brick fireplace stout brew

Phil: oh hey ya sure by all means you should stick to your coors light on the patio just be sure you dont spill on your reeboks before you drive back to mississauga

me: why are you getting so defensive i do not drink coors light you are making this a geo-political issue

Phil: im taking the piss
coors light = the lightest tasting beer i can think of and clearly you are into beers that are light in flavour (which is fine – to each their own)

me: im sorry i just cant get into the taste of guinness if it didnt taste like garbage i would like it you dont have to insult all the other beers i enjoy cos i do not like guinness

Phil: ok but i and a lot of other people do like it

me: are you all holding each other crying right now