i have to go get fil another birthday present cos i made him open them all except for the one thing i got him to try on with his eyes closed and even this morning i tried to get him to wear it to work HELLO RETARD CALLED THEY SAID FUCK OFF RAYMI so i’m going to get him to drive me to the area of where it is so i can purchase it meanwhile it is quite a big thing so i don’t know how i will hide it i will have to walk down the street and wrap it at the same time and then when i get it home and he is drinking on the couch i will have to drape a bunch of crap over it and pretend like it is furniture OH THIS? WE’VE HAD THIS OTTOMAN AGES, DOOD. i was going to get him a non-stick frying pan cos the other one is dunzo but that is kind of a sharesies gift and i didn’t want to spend over a hundred dollars on one at williams sonoma. that’s a decentish pair of shoes fuck that. if i am going to spend a hundred+ the thing i buy better be as big as a fucking ping pong table also how much of an asshole would i be if i am like happy birthday here is a frying pan hi guess what i am 70 now ooh lets heat up some butter and make shrimp. gay.

the other thing i was going to get him was some sort of DIY nerdy science kit like build your own rocket or something like that but then i thought what if he blows his face off, not cool. i could get a him an ant farm cos ants are pretty safe tho pretty boring, maybe fire ants, fire ants are cool.