i thought of a title for my book more pretentious than the other title but i might use both of them together maybe * ****** ******: the biggest thing that never happened.

perfect.

i bought a ridiculous necklace yesterday, it’s silver bling with fake diamonds and a spinner rim and it hurts my neck to wear it cos it’s heavy. fil was pretty disgusted by it saying my spending is out of control it’s like watching an alcoholic or whatever, i didn’t even bother to make a joke out of that comparison cos i was too busy feeling the blues a la captain bringdown so this week i am not going to spend any money on myself or buy any clothes or pieces of shit necklaces that give me a neckache. it was 15.99 and i got a free pen so no i am not a lunatic i did not blow 300 on a piece of pop culture junk. i paid 15.99 for it instead. oh i also will not drink either. i had something else to say but i forget oh yeah vote for me again thanks.

i drunk texted the world saturday nite i will transcribe some of them later and i only did it cos we were watching the game at a pub and it was booooooring i also bought a bottle of champagne, shared it with fil at home whilst watching snl (LUDA!) then later on i barfed. nice. i haven’t barfed in a long time so don’t feel bad. oh yeah we fought over a burrito as well, we were drunk making everything in the fridge and once fil nuked the second burrito i was like um another burrito? which made him feel obese i dunno so then he refused to eat it and i ate some of it but was getting angry that he wouldn’t finish it then i foil wrapped it and put it in the fridge and then last nite during trailer park boys i was like I AM GOING TO NUKE IT AND PUT FRANK’S ON IT AND SHARE IT WITH FIL COS I AM A NICE GIRLFRIEND i go to the fridge and SOMEONE had already EATEN IT.

so then i told him what my burrito intentions were and i think he pretended to feel bad this is a good story.