i forgot to tell you that on sober nite this week i went to the drug store intending to buy conditioner but i got shampoo instead cos i am a genius and i went to wash my hair yesterday thinking oooh i love new conditioner day and then i have a huge pile of shampoo in my hand after i had already shampooed and then realised it wasn’t conditioner and my thought was like this, “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” for a whole minute and then i sighed. this is a pretty good story wait it gets better so then i shampoo my hair again cos i’m mad right and so of the two conditioner bottles and their dregs i do the poor-man thing by adding water to each and then shaking them until they turn into diluted condish i’m all nigela and whisking that shit together, ahem.
so we went to the drug store last nite before returning our movie and also before having a pint and i buy conditioner FOR REAL this time and so i’m carrying this white plastic bag with me everywhere we go like it’s “a happening” i considered putting leaves in it too but i don’t anyway we go to tranzac i’m smoking and we overhear all these i don’t know what you even call them new-wave hippies turned hipster turned schmucks? they’re talking about how awesome it is to work with their hands you know like days spent on their knees just working and getting dirty and this one girl says OH YEAH SHE’S PAINTING NOW YOU KNOW PAINTING and then admits that whoever SHE is, is in fact HOUSE PAINTING.
fil and i pretended to be like them and talked about how honest and real this one guy is who doesn’t exist and we talked about cuddle parties and hacky sacks like we belonged and then went to labyrinth lounge for a pint cos well too much suckyness and hugging and clove cigarettes anyway fil goes in to order and i grab a table and THE ARTIST do you remember him? the nite tony pierce and i were at green room he told me how he is an artist a hundred times well he was doing the drunk pee pee dance around this outdoor heater and he chats me up like he has zero recollection of our previous encounter and he fully ignores fil even refers to him as MY FRIEND ahaha and he goes on and on about his art and everything in his life and he disses women a lot and he is saying how he is an artist and i say OH YEAH WHAT KIND OF ART i’m trying to get him to say the I WORK WITH LIGHT line again and fil picked up on that but he didn’t say it too bad. he did say a bunch of annoying rambly manic shit and i thought it was funny how he didn’t remember me i mean he has fucking pictures of me even.
oh he even mentioned how he lost his phone which killed me cos the first time i met him it rang twenty times and he was all about his phone and he even mentioned it anyway yeah he said pretty much everything about himself that he could in five minutes not asking me or fil anything he said he was a scientific engineer or something to which i said oh yeah fil’s an engineer and pointed at fil’s ring but the artist kept going on about some woman and other garbage.
eventually he went away and it left us in a bad mood cos he hogged our one beer out time so we walked home to watch shitty porn and that emergency room show.
ps. don’t go thinking that i am mean blogging about this now like a total coward, at the time of listening i was very polite, nodded my head a lot and said things like COOL and SWEET and DECENT.
