You know that feeling of having something itchy rub against your bare bum-whether it be
synthetic negligee or a woolly blanket? I hate that feeling, especially when you scratch your cheeks profusely
and the irritation still doesn’t cease, as if the itchiness has instilled on your fanny
semi-permanently.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m a fan of yours. I am a new one, however.
I don’t claim to have been reading your entries before they existed, or read every single
one while memorizing random lines from ‘marketable depression’ on the side.. in fact, I don’t claim to anything except finding you interesting. On the other hand, I have now added you to the list of my heroes.

Here is the list:

-Thom Yorke
-Bjork
-Raymi

Now, I am accepting the fact that you don’t rhyme with the other two, but I have always
thought that my third would somehow rhyme too..by fate, or something… if only your parents had named you Hork or Mork.

I haven’t read enough of your entries to figure out whether you like rap or not.
If not, I suggest you check out the album Sage Francis-A healthy distrust. It may change
your mind. And if you already like rap, I guess this paragraph is kind of pointless.

I don’t want to tell you that I am exactly like you, because I’m sure you have heard that enough
times. I think if I actually thought that, I would just be trying to match my a, b and c
traits to your d, e and f traits, when probably everyone has an a, b and c trait that matches
to your d, e and f trait.

Right now, I’m watching the movie Proof. Have you seen it? It’s about this family who has this
insnae genius mathematician father who dies( ie. sexy anthony hopkins), and his daughter Catherine who may have inherited his gift.
Gwyneth Paltrov is lovely-she is a wonderful crazy bitch in it. Jake
Gyllenhall isn’t bad either. I probably wouldn’t recommend it though.
I can already tell it’s going to have a terrible ending.

But, I kind of like this line so far:

Claire(some random blonde actress): Did you use that conditioner I brought you?
Catherine(gwyneth): No. Shit. I forgot.
Claire: Well, it’s my favorite. You’ll love it, Katie. I want you to try it.
Catherine: I’ll try it next time.
Claire: You’ll like it. It has jojoba.
Catherine: What is jojoba?
Claire: It’s something they put in for healthy hair.
Catherine: Hair is dead.
Claire: What?
Catherine: It’s… It’s dead tissue. You can’t make it healthy.
Claire: Whatever. It’s good for your hair.
Catherine: Like what? A chemical?
Claire: No. It’s organic.
Catherine: It can be organic and still be a chemical.
Claire: I don’t know what it is.
Catherine: Heard of organic chemistry?

I’ll tell you later whether I was right about the ending or not.

This letter has already gone on too long.

Turrah,

Camilla