when me and fil chat on the fone at work he has to pretend he is talking to a client and he says things like WELL I WILL GET BACK TO YOU ON THOSE RETURNS when i ask if he wants to go to this art show party and then he’s all bla bla portfolio interface and i’m like frap frap fart fffft pffft blerp bloop bleep VAGINA VAGINA MY VAAAAGIIIINA and he has to keep speaking like he is talking to a normal person and not a five year old with tourettes bye.
also this morning he texted for me to wake up i had enough sleep and i called him and said i had been up and painting since 9 and he said “oh” very quietly and i said are you a detective did you get all the facts and he said yes, case closed.
