we saw mi-3 last nite, it was alright. in every tom cruise movie when he takes his shirt off he does the same fucking I AM TOM CRUISE TAKING OFF MY SHIRT move where he’s all intensely looking at the girl, sorry dude, i would fully bust up laughing if i was in the room and saw you do that neck crane SHE IS THE CENTRE OF MY MOTHER FUCKING UNIVERSE eye contact crap.

maybe he knows what it’s all about though, maybe we all should be making grandiose productions of removing articles of clothing, like when you take off your work socks you can roll them down your legs like THEY’RE ON FIRE and then totally fucking launch them across the room like you are some mexican baseball pitcher, i dunno.

back to mi-3, there’s at least 30 parts in the movie where you will be WHAT THE FUCK NOT POSSIBLE for example how his wife brings him back to life after he electrocutes himself cos there’s a microchip bomb in his fucking head and so she brings him back to life by means of oldschool CPR and then resorts to punching and pounding on his chest and IT WORKS!

it’s good to know that i can put live power lines into a bowl of water and put a popsicle stick between my teeth and then have my wife pull the switch and zap the hell out of myself and i will totally come back to life.

uh maybe you shouldn’t have read the last two paragraphs if you didn’t want the end spoiled for you.

whatever. it’s still worth seeing, fil liked it.

the best line is when lawrence fishburne says DON’T INTERRUPT ME WHEN I’M ASKING RHETORICAL QUESTIONS.

and at the end of the film when it got all silent and right before the credits began i yelled out SCIIIIENNNTOOOOLOGYYYYYYY!