worst fucking sleep ever hi welcome to an evening of RACING THOUGHTS brought to you by SOBRIETY. now let’s think of every good and bad thing that has ever happened to us since the beginning of time for the next FIVE HOURS and THEN we can think of things that NEVER HAPPENED and MAKE UP SCENARIOS like they DID HAPPEN.

AMAZING!

wait what it’s 3 am? WHO CARES THIS IS SOOO MUCH FUUUUN!

now here’s the clincher NOW we are going to think of zingers and also go back through everything we just thought about and revamp it for our totally radical and very important BLOG because it is the centre of our universe and everything we say is fantastic!

and then we will think about things to say to piss off mass quantities of people in one go ok ready?

ABORTION IS AMAZING!

EVERYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 19 SHOULD SHUT UP AND LIVE IN CLOSETS!

IS IT JUST ME OR IS YOUR DAD KIND OF FAGGY?

I WROTE A SONG CALLED TRASH GARBAGE UGLY SLUTS AND IT’S ABOUT YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY! YOU’RE WELCOME!

I DON’T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT MUSIC BECAUSE I DON’T REALLY FEEL THAT IT’S RELEVANT.

EVERYONE WHO SMOKES WEED WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH THEIR SISTER!

YOUR MOM DRIVES A BUS!

THAT THING YOU DO NOW I DID IT BEFORE YOU FOUR YEARS AGO AND TEN TIMES BETTER!

i had much better ones last nite but you get the idea.