raymi says:
coolness tips 101
merkley??? says:
dont blend in but act as if you do
raymi says:
speak spanish
raymi says:
be hyperly unaware of how fucking amazing and mysterious you are
merkley??? says:
carry a flask
raymi says:
and a knife tucked into your sock like a steak knife
merkley??? says:
have blood stains on at least one article of clothing
raymi says:
carry oranges
merkley??? says:
wear a belt made out of living snakes
raymi says:
ok lets think of for real coolness tips not irony fuckin retard tips
merkley??? says:
tip number one
raymi says:
hi-top sneakers and jogging pants
raymi says:
have some sort of albino housepet
raymi says:
quote your grandfather regularly
merkley??? says:
when conversing with people be SUPER engaged — but make the conversation short and carry on to the next person with whom you will be SUPER engaged for 5 minutes TOPS
merkley??? says:
like — you have my FULL atention for 5 minutes
raymi says:
make abstract observations about your surroundings
merkley??? says:
I’M BUSY
merkley??? says:
but then retreat into a corner and write things down
raymi says:
then leave
raymi says:
fall down the stairs with a full beer in your hand
merkley??? says:
if you return be wearing something different
raymi says:
and like three germans at your side who dont speak english
merkley??? says:
only apologize for apologizing and being awesome
raymi says:
have a knit sweater with your name stitched on it
merkley??? says:
have your own name tattooed in a heart on your arm
raymi says:
if someone says they are hungry go get them a bag of chips out of nowhere
raymi says:
but then eat the entire bag in front of them
merkley??? says:
and toss them without looking
raymi says:
tossing them without looking is funnier
merkley??? says:
make them hold the bag while you eat them
raymi says:
they have to be an insanely obnoxious flavor also like fries and gravy
merkley??? says:
get lots of texts but show that you dont actually look at them before turning off your ringer
merkley??? says:
order well whiskey straight up
merkley??? says:
put in your own ice cubes
raymi says:
thats pretty extreme
raymi says:
like have your own soft tub of ice cubes?
raymi says:
hold it like a football
merkley??? says:
no just order ice separately
merkley??? says:
you cant hold stuff when you’re cool
merkley??? says:
only drinks
merkley??? says:
even then
merkley??? says:
you should place it on the bar like its a burden
raymi says:
hold a big plant
merkley??? says:
write notes on peices of paper and bury them or hide them
merkley??? says:
that reminds me
merkley??? says:
i was hosting this event last night
merkley??? says:
i have a button maker
merkley??? says:
so i can make a new button each night
merkley??? says:
and i usually do
merkley??? says:
last night my button was
merkley??? says:
“be like me”
raymi says:
and why havent u made me like a hundred by now?
merkley??? says:
cool people dont mail things
raymi says:
fine
merkley??? says:
i’m serious
raymi says:
I KNOW
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