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raymi says:

coolness tips 101

merkley??? says:

dont blend in but act as if you do

raymi says:

speak spanish

raymi says:

be hyperly unaware of how fucking amazing and mysterious you are

merkley??? says:

carry a flask

raymi says:

and a knife tucked into your sock like a steak knife

merkley??? says:

have blood stains on at least one article of clothing

raymi says:

carry oranges

merkley??? says:

wear a belt made out of living snakes

raymi says:

ok lets think of for real coolness tips not irony fuckin retard tips

merkley??? says:

tip number one

raymi says:

hi-top sneakers and jogging pants

raymi says:

have some sort of albino housepet

raymi says:

quote your grandfather regularly

merkley??? says:

when conversing with people be SUPER engaged — but make the conversation short and carry on to the next person with whom you will be SUPER engaged for 5 minutes TOPS

merkley??? says:

like — you have my FULL atention for 5 minutes

raymi says:

make abstract observations about your surroundings

merkley??? says:

I’M BUSY

merkley??? says:

but then retreat into a corner and write things down

raymi says:

then leave

raymi says:

fall down the stairs with a full beer in your hand

merkley??? says:

if you return be wearing something different

raymi says:

and like three germans at your side who dont speak english

merkley??? says:

only apologize for apologizing and being awesome

raymi says:

have a knit sweater with your name stitched on it

merkley??? says:

have your own name tattooed in a heart on your arm

raymi says:

if someone says they are hungry go get them a bag of chips out of nowhere

raymi says:

but then eat the entire bag in front of them

merkley??? says:

and toss them without looking

raymi says:

tossing them without looking is funnier

merkley??? says:

make them hold the bag while you eat them

raymi says:

they have to be an insanely obnoxious flavor also like fries and gravy

merkley??? says:

get lots of texts but show that you dont actually look at them before turning off your ringer

merkley??? says:

order well whiskey straight up

merkley??? says:

put in your own ice cubes

raymi says:

thats pretty extreme

raymi says:

like have your own soft tub of ice cubes?

raymi says:

hold it like a football

merkley??? says:

no just order ice separately

merkley??? says:

you cant hold stuff when you’re cool

merkley??? says:

only drinks

merkley??? says:

even then

merkley??? says:

you should place it on the bar like its a burden

raymi says:

hold a big plant

merkley??? says:

write notes on peices of paper and bury them or hide them

merkley??? says:

that reminds me

merkley??? says:

i was hosting this event last night

merkley??? says:

i have a button maker

merkley??? says:

so i can make a new button each night

merkley??? says:

and i usually do

merkley??? says:

last night my button was

merkley??? says:

“be like me”

raymi says:

and why havent u made me like a hundred by now?

merkley??? says:

cool people dont mail things

raymi says:

fine

merkley??? says:

i’m serious

raymi says:

I KNOW

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