waking up at 6am to pee and rehydrate and then trying to get back to sleep so wasn’t happening because i started thinking about blogging and stupid catch phrases and i was clenching my jaw and my ribs felt kicked in and the right side of my body hurt and so did my head so i tossed from side to side every five minutes until finally all the pains went away but i knew it would only be a temporary bout of relief like that part in scary movies where they think the guy is dead so they stand over his body because they are retarded bitches and the scary bad guy goes RUUUUHHAAAAAAAWRRR and grabs their leg and they shoot him in the face ten times and spit on him like this time you be dead for real yo!

being excited to fall back asleep again totally wakes your brain up and then seagulls start making seagull noises and you fantasize about going out on the roof and telling them to SHUT THE FUCK UP in their stupid faces.

how would you like me to go outside your window and make dump truck noises when you are trying to sleep?

that’s the burn you say to the garbageman.

insert will smith laughter – uh haooooow!