i explained the entire plot of die another day to scott because he had not seen it and so it was basically my blog post from yesterday but more ridiculous and i think this couple was listening in on what i was saying and judging me. i would. hearing other people talk no matter what they are talking about makes you think you are better than they are and you think of stupid justifications of how and why you are better. and the fact that i am explaining a shitty movie as loud as i possibly can or so it seemed because the place was dead empty and the bartender was watching the apprentice with some old whiskery barfly and then the couple left and it felt like we were a major inconvenience what with my crappy account of die another day… “and then, uhh, and then, ok they’re in a helicopter…bla bla…” and scott’s phone rings and he talks ten times louder than a megaphone so the old guy and bartender and bartender’s friend are shooting fuck you looks at scott and i am trying to shush him and then he says faggot real loud into the phone.

then we are elsewhere and dude comes by and brings us all the drinks in the world and says he fucked holly mcnarland. twice. he was her roadie. i was too wasted to bother considering whether or not this was true and the more i think about it the funnier it is.

he said he was meaning to be our friends for a very long time ‘cos i once said i was socially inept and this was months and months and months ago and it was just some bullshit small talk but i guess it’s an effective line.

i made the mistake of saying i was socially awkward when i lived in nyc to this one fat guy who was in the social circle of our peeps and so at every roof party and bbq he would beeline towards me and go “so how is that socially awkwardness working for ya?” every fucking party. and even when i was talking to people, someone i had just met, this guy would appear out of nowhere and say the line to me and then walk away.

who are you martin from the simpsons?

he also had a t-shirt that said “second place” on it.