so me and fil are going for an interview tomorrow and the girl said there is this one episode coming up where you learn sex positions and she said hush hush the audience won’t know that u are actually boyfriend and girlfriend. she said that only attractive people can be on the show because that’s what people at home watching want to be looking at and i said ok. my friend mike had a taping over the weekend and girl said it went very well and he was funny and stuff.

i hope i don’t get all tv hyper weird and be all clever.

wait.

that’s the point to this.

maybe i’ll have to sit there and list off every sex partner i’ve ever had and go into lengthy detail about why most of them were crap.

maybe they’ll let me talk about my cat. that would be the best. in my opinion.

maybe there will be all these new sex things going on in the world and i’ll be out of the loop and look like a knobby librarian.

whatever.

just as long as i get to plug this stupid blog and come off as better than everybody else, i will be happy.

i finished reading the new coupland book finally.

i read in slow motion these days.

i think about stuff that leads to other stuff and go in circles and fil is like um are you still on page two?

ten trillion people have emailed me about coupland’s reading in toronto that’s coming up soon. i don’t think i am going to go to it. ok i am 100 per cent certain that i am not going to it. first of all it costs ten dollars via ticketmaster.

secondly, dude won’t even be singing a song or anything and he also never responded to that one dumb email i wrote a couple years ago and i really don’t feel like sitting with other studious nerdburglars who think they are the boss off authors and feel obligated to chuckle at certain parts of the reading.

also, i will want to go up and meet him and shake his hand and then i’ll blubber and go ruhhhhh uhhhh i am obsessed with you so much and your microserfs book sent me to the looney bin.

thanks for that? ps. dickhead you never replied to my email.

and also i am depressed as crap now that i have read all of your books, beautiful and insightful as they are why can’t i have books, eh?

i think that it would be a w k w a r d and embarassing all around so, feh.

i should have gone to that other reading of his back when i was in grade ten and got it over and done with and that would be that but no, i was busy being up to no good and faking a british accent, dating that 29 year old.

i feel like tomorrow i am going to wake up and be thirty years old and i am going to blame it on everybody.