i’m a “sick” girl, just leave me alone.

for you but mostly for me.

my “grandiose ego” is not impossible.

i am not a biggot i am not a racist i’m a chill pill in your guise in your disguise so just let me rise and fail on my own from my own potential moral demise.

know that i love thee all of thee come what may, despite what i say, even though you are gay, in your own fucking way it’s what’s gotta be for the pay and play.

assumptions kill. remember that. remember we. remember you, and, your up-bringing, shitty or not, your own pain and my pain, it’s quite the same and i only hope and wish that somewhere, somehow, somewhen, someplace, it will be plain as day and officially the train of it all, my preach to you all along, all i ever wanted, all i ever needed, heeded, creeded, my loves, is that we could just listen to each other, love one another, live one another, dig each other, not take advantage of the happy and the sad and the mad and the rad and the money, the honey, bunny?

don’t lie to me ever again.

don’t sigh to me ever again.

don’t try to die to me ever again and mindfuck me and secretly think and assume things, to me, ever, a, gain.

assume for two seconds with your eyes closed that all informations eventually come my way and that i get it, i fully get it, i, get, it.

and that i eat and sleep and feel right despite, all of this, and that and the other.

you tried and i hand-clap that shit, i try and back your trip, because yes, it is, your trip and now i release you, to the universe.

you are no longer my responsibilities.

don’t mix your ego with that of my own.

i tried so much and i failed and you still backstab me and i still love you, so.

i am crazy yes, crazy for life, crazy for pleasing everyone first and me last and it is not until i am crying on the floor, choking on my sadness and anger and hurt and dissedness, not until then, that i go, ok, they are cut the fuck off but still the very next day i go ok now it is everybody’s second chance let’s have a go now.

bunny you lied to me anti you lied to me tim you lied to me cheryl you lied to me keep whatever you took stole raped pillaged whatever from me. be thankful, that i, for now am choosing to not air that diryy shizer of each and every one of your true characters, ok. it makes me sad so much at myself for allowing this garbage into my life and into that of my family’s, most of all.

shame on you.

each and everyone of you.

what did i do to you exactly, huh? eh?

think about it, seriously. really, think about it, ignore the blogs and the gossip and everything and your drugs and your sadness and jealousy bitterness, ulterior motives, fucking, take a look at you and forget the fuck about me, forever.

my ego is the size of the world no no no my ego is my heart and then the head follows and you know that.

i owe you nothing so don’t come knocking i gave my all, all the time.

empathize with yourself because you are the only one who can do something like that.

i trusted the world with my heart and my head and my life and look what happened here.

i’m a pacifist liberal.

deal.