yay. i made the best ever garage sale/ shitty ebay store ever!!! go look at it right fucking now!!!
disgusting raymi wallpaper. ha haa.
please mass-email this flyer i made. oh and post it on yer blogs and stuff. it’s worth it.
i looooove jamie and i loooove anti and at the same time all the time and they are all miiine and iiii discovered them so fuck you everyone else. YES!
im putting these in every once ‘n awhile. i added that other one early today. friday? no, yesterday. my highest day of hits was 1,358. wuhoo. thanks porno link people. right. ive been reading lots of trash-talk about me, always. about kerouac coke vice pussy etc etc. tho i do get a lot of good nice things said once ‘n awhile. yes. ye’all shall profit. i am going to get moby to be my friend. he has panic attacks like me and he is smart and i want to sing for his muu-zic. i’ll settle for that steveo32 sum 41 kiddo. anyday. wuhhhoo. ok.
Raymi�s guide to getting fucked.
Ladies first,
Be sassy.
Be saucy.
Be from somewhere else.
Have a vagina.
Wear your fucking stilettos.
Chew your fucking gum and snap it just once.
Guys are fucking easy.
Make sure all his friends see you looking hot, saying fancy shit, and they tell him all the time that the very second he drops you, they�re gonna grab you around the waist and tap that mutha�fuckin� ass.
Tell him to fuck off once in awhile.
Buy him something he needs.
Remember all the things he forgets and make yourself useful. (Also part of Raymi�s guide to getting fucked and sticking around for more than a week.)
Fix something of his.
Get him a hot sweater. Tell him to grow his facial hair and then all the other bitches start commenting on how hot he looks, he will then realize you can be his meal ticket to other ladies, but be cautious, you can�t let him get too confident for various and obvious reasons.
Figure out how to break/wear him down.
Cradle his head in your arms once in awhile.
Rise before him and accomplish all of your tasks.
Stand near him and pretend to pick something up (so obvious and cheesy, I realize) and let him get a whiff of your hair or neck or whatever smells hottest on your bitch and moaning body.
Try and meet his dad. Dad�s have great hotness detectors and are sure to egg him on as well as hit on you mercilessly right in front of your man�s face, thus causing father/son rivalry and making your job a hell of a lot easier.
Meeting moms and dazzling them can be hard but if you pull it off the outcome is more than beneficial. If his mum digs you, well fuck, he may as well buy you a fucking Mercedes because he�ll be banging you �til the cows come home.
Knowing how to suck dick is always a good skill.
Slip the fact that you think he has a monster cock or a porno dick into every conversation as often as you can.
If it gets to a certain point in where he begins to tire of you, and your tricks are no longer effective, you might wanna try hanging around all those hot guys you�ve been neglecting for the past two months. He�ll get the point.
Unless he is a fucking loser.
And remember, if he doesn�t want you, there�s three thousand more who do.
And now, onto the fellas.
If a bitch, stares you up and down in a bar more than once, this means you have caught her attention and you are therefore allowed to walk over and strike up a conversation with her.
If she is not looking at you this does not mean you are fat and ugly and stupid, it might be that she has yet to notice you. If this is the case and you want her to see you, stand in front of her.
Idiot.
Ok so lets say she has looked at you a few times and has not grimaced or rolled her eyes, whatever, you have like twenty minutes to get over there before her friends snatch her away or some other dude gets there first and spends an hour cock-blocking you. She might even change her mind, who knows, just get over there post haste.
Now say something.
She�ll know within thirty seconds whether she is going to fuck you, unfortunately you probably won�t be privy to this information until later so keep trying.
Now you have two options for two possible �getting fucked� outcomes.
A. If you want to get fucked and chucked, then be your normal dirtbag, unstable self. Women are more likely to fuck you and bail if you are not boyfriend/marriage material. It is in a woman�s common nature to seek out a partner or male-provider, safe, boring, home/family type-guy. How lame.
Anyway, the more of a fucking retard you are the better your chances of getting laid. But you have to play your retard charm card wisely. If you lay it on too thick she�ll be ultimately repulsed and reject the shit out of you.
If you do it right, you get fucked.
It�s not rocket science.
Don�t hit on chicks who are obviously not right for you or the ones who give off �I hate men� vibes. You are fighting a losing battle.
Chicks are clever and can smell a dirty dog, ten fucking miles away.
Ok.
B. If you are wanting to get fucked and build some sort of boring relationship out of it, first of all, don�t go to a bar to pick up chicks, unless you�re looking for Dan�s mom or the most desperate of desperate girls.
Gross.
So yeh. Go to a suitable location to attain the appropriate woman.
Want a librarian? Go to a library.
And so on.
And while present in these locations, act accordingly. Read the girl. Do a little research. Don�t be that regular dude who says regular things. Be her friend for a little bit. Study what she studies. Meet her needs.
Soon enough you�ll be choosing drapes and buying cutlery from Dean & Deluca.
You fucking twat.
minx ( P ) Pronunciation Key (mngks)
n.1. A girl or young woman who is considered pert, flirtatious, or impudent.
2. Obsolete. A promiscuous woman.n : a seductive woman who uses her sex appeal to exploit men [syn: coquette, flirt, vamp, vamper, tease, prickteaser]
also
The true definition of a minx is a playful wench, a hoydenfound @ http://home.xnet.com/~countzi/minxbiog.html
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