It’s better to fuck old men becuz

when you fart your younger boyfriend will fart right back on you but the older guy is all Oooooooooh that’s cute.

you don’t have to worry about how dumpy your ass is cause their ass is bound to drop way before yours will

you have to count your dollars along with a young fella but the older dude is like, “Sure, you can spend one hundred dollars on lip balm. i don’t care.”

with age, their sexual appetite turns to kink which can be fun if yer a spazz and want to jump all over the place and they just sit there and are all wow.

otherwise, with age they’re all lazy and pleased with any half-assed pass you make which is a good thing if they’re real old and gross looking and then you can spend the rest of the time lying there naked and drunk and talk about candy.

you can convince them that their clothes suck and get them to wear something an eighteen year old would and you get them saying chill, shut up bitch and wha’gwan.

it’s funny when they get super-possessive over you and try to map out your future and give you helpful tips that would only come in handy 25 years ago. you automatically have the upper-hand and the fact that all their friendz are super-jellus of his hot little number boosts the guy’s ego which you benefit from, yet again.

you can trod around the place wearing out-dated, ugly clothes because they don’t know the difference between what’s cool and what’s not.

they sometimes fuck you like yer a virgin and assume they’re your third lay. hahaaaahahahhahhaaaaa

they always come back for more………