At least I have my dignity
So Raymi and I were having a few cocktails…when it came up that she was going to be out of town and couldn’t make it to a gourmet food thingy at the brickworks. Brickworks Picnic! “…a virtual tour of the culinary regions of Southern Ontario.”
So here I am guest blogging. And guest gorging. I went to Brickworks and ate a whole bunch of food and drank wine and beer…for free. You are welcome Raymi.
Who le fuck am I? I’ve been on this weird blog before. I am Eyeborg.
Raymi lives around the corner from here in Parkdale and she is a pal. I like this blog and I’m not sure why. I think its because Raymi has an honest inner dialogue going…or something. And she looks hawt.
Raymi talks and thinks about food a lot. I don’t think I approach it in quite the same way because I am a dude. Yes, dudes have body image issues and try not to pig out every day but I’m thinking I don’t have the same guilt. On the other hands guys have other worries. Am I the right blend of macho/sensitive? Is my career impressive? Should I manscape? These kinds of concerns. But in general little Raymis, I do think its more nervewracking to be a woman. So carry on! However can I please point out that you shouldn’t try to be as thin as gay art directors want you to be? As they say in Ireland, its good to have a little bit of arse.
PS I hate fucking flickr – never used it before.
I brought along Jason Osler who is a CBC morning show radio guy. Osler’s Website
The media coordinator called us Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee. Said we look the same-ish. Tall white dudes with media jobs.
He is single ladies. With a steady job. Not sure if he manscapes.
You’ll notice though that my shirt is less ironed. That’s because I am a freelance film and video guy and he works for a government corporation.
Here are some food shots because that seems to be what you food porn bitches want on here.
Me chatting up cute Squash soup chef.
Ate this felt zero guilt about it – didn’t think about my body image once. Sorry.
I asked this guy if he was from Toronto. He says “Look at my shirt, my dog ripped it. I don’t care. What do you think?”
Jason and I figured everybody at this thing listens to CBC. Its one of those affairs.
Talked to this girl for about 45 seconds before her boyfriend rushed in to see what was up. That’s what happens when you are tall dark type with an eyepatch. He’s smiling in that way that says -“Were you hitting on my girlfriend?”
This guy is getting paid 100 bucks to test smoke a new brand of Du Maurier. THey aren’t even on the market yet. These are the fascinating conversations you miss when you don’t smoke.
Ate this – didn’t care. Wasn’t guilty. Burp.
How do you say this?
Munch.
Chomp.
Gulp.
Stuff.
Cowbell guy. I guess that’s why he has a cowboy hat. Because of the cow thing. He’s a chef cowboy. Probably drinks a lot of wine because chef’s are bon-vivants.
Overheard these douchers saying ARRRR when I walked by. You wouldn’t believe how many times I hear that a day.
More eating. Don’t give a fuck.
This is me recreating 9/11 with cheese at cheese boutique booth. I am holding the little cheese plane that crashes into the cheese tower. Tasteless? Wrong…very tasty cheese. I love cheese.
Look at how seriously this woman is looking at piles of cheese.
Ate it. Was great.
Delicious.
Me and Osler gettin drunk.
These guys are really important chefs. I don’t think they liked it when I asked them if most chefs
drink a lot.
These important chefs didn’t seem to mind the question.
This is how I feel about eating and drinking a lot.
THey listen to CBC. All of them.
Those chocolates you saw before? They put Shitake mushrooms in them. It works somehow.
Carbs.
Well that was easy. And pleasant. Except for wrestling with Flickr.
Bye little Raymis! Think I will do this again soon. Uh, Raymi is always talking about haters. Is there a bunch of people who hate me now?
i love how the i’s in your dignity are dotted with little pink hearts……? lol
you are cool but when is raymi back??? :((((((
Guh wurtz tra meaner. Very funny and fun time. Shiitake has two I’s. Raymi boss is satisfied you will live to blog another day. I am rurally squirly presently.
When dumbasses “Arrrr” at you, do you respond? I’d find it hard not to. Buy a peg leg to hit em with, or a parrot who’ll bite them in the face.
LMAO (in America we say LMAO a lot, don’t know why)
That awesome Eyeborg you should blog. or do you already?
(Eyeborg here) Nah no point. It would be a long day. Besides I can’t even spell Shiitake apparently. Probably a good thing I can’t. I also never say mauve.
well done Eyeborg! looking forward to next guest post and obvs the return of Raymbo
Love the guest blog post Robster. Good for a few chuckles and really that’s all I ask.
That guy test smoking a new kind of cigarette sounds like the dodgy x-files episode….
No haters, Great job.
Can we view the manscaping now?
good post
Great guest-blogging, very entertaining. I truly lol’ed at the CBC listener remarks, the ‘are you hitting on my girlfriend’ face, and the 9/11 cheese attack.
I think I have a new crush
Damn. Keep up the tanning, Raym-a-roo. Looking hotter than ever.
Awesome post – highly entertaining (what does that say about me?)..what happened to your eye – can i ask that?
tall dark and eye-patch. just my cup of tea!
Very interesting video clip – you have a great attitude. The food blog was fun – loved the gentle ribbing of Raymi.
eyeborg you gotta start your own blog.
baaaaaaaaaaahahaha.
Please start your own blog. If you have the time, please.
I enjoyed that, mauve-hater. Welcome.
Ravin[g] Vine yard?
Your career is pretty impressive, and manscaping is for gay art directors.
I’m so glad I stopped listening to the CBC.
Loved this post. Can Raymi get you to cover a fashion show next?
you’ve got a little clive owen thing going on.
just watched the eyeborg clip
very cool
good looking guy too, symmetrical face
with a unique camera vision eye
would love to see the creative eye flicks
of course, its not just the eye, its whats between the ears
ooooooooooslerrrrr
the only thing more delicious than the food post is the man writing it. can i get an amen?
way ahead of ya alison rob went to a fashion thing in my stead this morning. tyler stewart is going to guest blog too. i am johnny carson hiring joan rivers.
yep, loved that post.
Tell Rob I saw him on another chanel here is Australia being interviewed and I was very excited having seen him on your blog before. Good on him. He’s got a great sense of humour and of himself. I like your guest post idea. KB x
Eyeborg…
You get the “ARRR” thing multiple times A DAY? Real talk?
How do you not go around punching people dude?
(PS. If I’ve ever seen you at a bar or something and been one of those “ARRR” people, let me come on ahead and apologize to you.)
(PPS. Good post, fam. Seriously, blog more.)
mmm you are sexy, eyeborg.
awwww, this was the best guest post I’ve ever read anywhere – normally they are so tryhard and kinda lame, this was truly funny and totally entertaining. Rob is a good guy – hang on to him, he could be a reoccuring character!
yeah he’s my mate