coolness update the III:

cats like it when you sing meow meow meow at them over and over to the tune of stop right now, thank you very much by the spice girls and you also keep rhythm by snapping your fingers along with the meow-singing.

people don’t like it as much as cats do unfortunately.

coolness update the II.

so there’s always a bunch of kids partying down at the house that we practise at and when we were leaving last nite some kid was walking out with his jacket in a garbage bag because he puked on it and i went HA BUUUUURN! and then all his friends also went BUUUUURN at the barf jacket kid and i forgot all about it ’til just now and i kind of feel bad but i kinda don’t at the same time.

i’m glad i was quick enough on my feet to use the burn word ‘cos i like keeping it real oldschool style because i have street cred and it made everyone jealous of my capacity to deliver smack talk and everyone knows that putting down people younger than you is how you get respect.

coolness update:

i was just watching muchmusic, video flow or something and you know how they’ve adopted the ticker tape text/chat messages from viewers just like mtv (gay) well, some douche bag wrote: MALTON 4EVER! and it went across the screen during a “hip hop” video featuring faith evans and i was like well there goes the neighbourhood.

people not in canada, malton is the ghettoiest ghetto that ever ghetto’d near the airport.

they showed a chick having her 200 lb tumor removed on oprah today. that’s like having a whole person or two skinny bitch persons attached to your body except theyre not persons at all they’re a useless nasty blob that needs its own seat in the car beside you and everyone has to be pretend sensitive about it to you but behind your back they be all yo, when is homegirl gonna have that shit done cut off?

grossest footage ever.

i have a crazy-ass bruise on the side of my ass and fil pointed it out and was like look look look at that! and i’m like whaaat what is it blood? and then i see this gross bruise. the end.

noel made a fun new page where you can edit and add to it and so on. fun.

i have cramps so bad i want to stand in fire with a jug of gasoline.

i am doing all the laundry in the entire universe right now and rocky thinks he is a secret agent but then gets scared for no reason and starts crying and then he comes back to you and gets scared again and then he licks my sweater. we have band practise tonite. last nite i ordered harold and kumar and wasted all of it by being on the internet. i want to go throw rocky into the snow in the backyard and see him disappear and then we will wear scarfs together? i smell.

I Just Won’t Feed the Birds

I will not hurt them.
Not directly.
I will starve them.
But winter will kill them.

this site is so funny i can’t handle it.

drawing bad. just when i wasn’t gay/nerdy/ten years old enough.