today fil will get to see half baked for the very first time. i tried to explain it to him how funny it is and i tried to say some of the funny lines and i don’t think i sold it very well.
ok there’s this part where the guys spend a bunch of money that they are not suppose to because they are saving to get that one guy out of jail and then dave chappelle yells at them all for spending the money and then he takes a toke and his voice changes all nice and he says “i’m sorry for yelling.” and then he takes another toke and says something else that i forget, and it’s really funny. i mean it. it’s SO funny. it’s the way he says it that’s funny.
then i tried to immitate it and i thought i did a pretty good job but because it wasn’t in context, fil didn’t laugh, or smile, nothing.
anyway, we were playing megatouch (duh) sometime or other a couple nites back and these shitbag white boy suburban toolbags with sideways baseball hats and upturned collar golf shirts are standing behind us for awhile going oh THAT GAME IS THE SIIICKEST! YO THAT GAME GETS HARD YO THAT GAME IS RIDUNKULOUS!! and they asked how long we would be playing and i turned and said we would be playing all nite long and then some of them went away because my cold hearted bitchitude froze their eyelids shut and then i began to shitbag them all not knowing one was right behind my head still and fil and steve are all uh one of those kids was right behind you when you talked all that smack then i suggested i go over to them and say i heard they wanted to fight me. but i didn’t. then we had tequila and i felt like vomitting out of my nose. but i didn’t.
i heart huckabees was boooooooring and if i knew it was going to be all “existential” and “kooky” i wouldn’t have bothered watching it. the funny parts that are only funny because they are weird were too few and far between to hold my interest. jason schwartzman looks like tom cruise, no lie. mark wahlberg is probably the only interesting character because he cares about not using petroleum and rides a bike yet no matter how ethical he tries to be and intelligent, he still comes off as dumb. he gets upset and frustrated a few times and punches out different people, that was funny at least.
i dunno what the big hoopla over this movie was. wow. modern day get into my psyche. pffft.
next.
ps movies about existential detectives investigating coincidences equals this is bullshit.
last nite i dreamed that there was all this looting going on and half-blown up people running around with blood and they were destroying this mcdonald’s and we got our food and then went to this house next door and walked through the backyard over dead rotting cows and went inside and fil offered the owners of the house two bananas so we could chill there and eat our mcdonald’s and then we were driving up a big bridge that was higher than the CN tower and there were tiny apartments as the base of the bridge all brick wall and i asked if they were low-income housing and then we were in a some hasidic jewish neighbourhood and a bunch of fat women were laughing and falling down this snowbank and then we came to a tiny ciniplex theatre and we went inside and fil went to the bathroom and i started fixing my hair in the mirror and this black chick starts screaming at me for using her mirror and i copped a major attitude and was all fuck you i can use any mirror i want you don’t own this mirror and she said why don’t you get another beyonce book (of destiny’s child) and then she said my dad was a bitch and his name was steve and i wanted to scrap her but fil dragged me out of there before i could.
i dreamed of this it’s true.
and there were mental patients that escaped from this house beside the mcdonald’s and they were rioting and celebrating all their mcdonald’s food and for some reason the mcdonald’s employees kept on working and making hamburgers.
