consider this a suggestion free blog from here on in, comments are fully allowed but unwarranted suggestions are not permissable. if someone wanted a shaved beaver they would HAVE a shaved beaver. that is all.
ps i am never nairing ever again never! yes i’ll shave here and there but my area is just too sensitive and the last few days have been hell a la ingrown and red itchy blotches FUCK THAT. you see, i’m one of those GROWS ON THE THIGHS TOO girls so i have to shave well i use one of those battery shaver things that fil uses for his face haha so i can’t have a bush unless i want to have hair shorts (fil made that up yesterday).
anyway i really do enjoy tweezing my ingrown hairs for ten minute spanses of time at least ten times daily but with these nair ingrowns it’s been like thirty times a day and i just don’t have that kind of time.
i mean if i wanted to look like i had herpes or whatever I’D GO AND GET HERPES NOT PAY 8.99 FOR A BIKINI KIT TO GIVE ME FAKE-HERPES!
July 20, 2006
GO TO MAJORMAKER.COM to see the music video i am in with other toronto hipskags. click on multimedia and then watch the WINDOW video, it’s pretty obvs. which one i am, black hair side pony and swoop bangs and i’m the first chick and i jump onto the guy’s lap on the couch OOH SCANDAL. enjoy! the song’s good too. i’ve already watched it ten times.
i feel esoteric rage right now for no good reason other than i am bored it’s mostly pretend rage but at least it is fun like starvation rage sort of. starvation rage is the best cos you can scream your fucking head off at someone and then go YOU KNOW I WAS HUNGRY WHY DID YOU SPEAK TO ME WITH THAT JOKEY TONE OF VOICE IT’S BASICALLY YOUR FAULT I RIPPED YOUR FACE OFF!
yesterday we got denied ferry access on the way back to toronto cos the ferry was full and there was only like ten of us and i was so mad i couldn’t speak, my eyes went in different directions and i zombie-walked over to a bench and pictured murdering the little vietnamese dude who closed the gate down on us and i swear to fucking god if someone tells me that vietnamese isn’t relevent to my story i will jay and silent bob you like NOW. anyway it felt like a war movie or the war of the worlds where tom cruise is trying to get his entire neighborhood on that boat and then it blows up anyway or something i was picturing the ferry exploding and being like YES.
i was already picturing us in the car on land and thinking about canada’s next top model and red wine and cheese and the little man was taking away my FREEDOM so instead of zero to psycho i removed myself from us ten dawdlers who were all shooting the WTFs with each other and the WELL I NEVERS and i sat on that bench in the shade under the tree and slaughtered people in my head.
maybe i am getting my period soon or maybe it was the hash? RAGE HASH!
*whoever has the best rage story in which you were so angry you couldn’t speak and didn’t do anything out of shock wins a postcard.
i like that stouffer’s is pushing me to be more of an alcoholic than i already am by suggesting i drink white wine with my portobello penne, thanks guys!
i like how opening a new package of toilet paper makes you feel like anything is possible in fact i get that feeling everytime i open something new like, a box of crackers or something i derno, nice. but mostly with t.p. and i’m not being all double entendre here like ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE/I AM GOING TO HAVE THE BEST BOWEL MOVEMENT EVER i mean it makes me feel all romantic new beginnings type stuff.
oh just go away.
